I consider myself a strong individual but I'm realizing that I do some things out of stubbornness and out of the need to prove that I'm strong. Many times, I refuse to be weak and give in to what I don't want to give in to.
I'm learning that in order to live a well balanced life one must communicate what they are feeling and deal with issues as they come along. For me I'm able to discern things very strongly and very quickly. Many times I just withdraw myself or remove myself from the situation if I feel that the energy isn't right.
I believe in being genuine, honest, and real. So, if something is not okay with me I react accordingly.
Truth is though, by the time I actually deal with the situation I break down and respond emotionally because many times I have avoided confronting the issue. Reacting to a situation is not the same as dealing with a situation. I find that I react to situations, but I don't deal with them. When I was younger that might be understandable. Now, I'm thirty years old and I have to be more mature in how I deal with situations.
As I grow, I'm working on dealing with situations with better communication and trying to express my feelings early. I think I'm doing pretty good in dealing with the passing of my mother. However, I know that there are feelings about that ordeal that need to be expressed to certain people in my life. Not that I need to go and seek them out. However, if the opportunity presented itself I definitely need to express how I feel about certain things.
When you don't deal with things, the problems just grow bigger. It may appear that everything is okay on the outside, but on the inside you are a mess. I write these thoughts because we are all human and we share the same struggles. It's good to know that we are not alone in our experiences and that everything is not always what it looks like.
"Strive For Excellence"
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