Friday, April 25, 2014


So there have been quite a few things going in my life lately and it has caused me to look at myself and how I deal with life. From the surface, I think many times it may appear that I don't care about people. Sometimes, that's true but many times it's not. The people that I care about the most are my family. If they are going through something, then I'm also going through it.

However, I know that I haven't always displayed lots of affection and attention to them. Mostly, because I was young and dealt life the best way I knew how. Which included being selfish and self-centered. So now that I'm older, it's super important that I am able to show the ones that I love that I care about them.

So of course if I am this way with my family, I wouldn't treat those who don't know me any different. In a sense, I think that when you don't allow yourself to be deeply connected to others you protect yourself from heartache and pain. However, I also believe that it can backfire on you.

I honestly can't really relate to having my heartbroken other than my freshman year of college. Now don't get me wrong I have been hurt by people but not to the extreme I guess. I purposely don't attach myself to others and I don't really trust others. I hate being skeptical and having my guard up but it's the only way that I know how to be. I don't have a lot of friends because I refuse to let most people into my life. When I do let people in my life they usually don't remain.

Even right now I'm writing because I'm dealing with a lot. I'm able to clear my mind through writing. I do have a few individuals that I can talk to. However, depending on the situation I'm not always able to say everything that I want to say. So I'm not heartless, I just don't show a lot of emotion.


I no longer want to be that person.

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  1. My experience with this, is learn who CARES for you, NOT only ABOUT you. As a PATIENT a NURSE usually is the one who CARES for you, but your FAMILY and FRIENDS are usually the ones who CARE ABOUT you. So in a sense we all are PATIENTS and we need to be CARED for. Sometimes we are blessed with people in are lives who have the two in one gifts to CARE FOR us as well as ABOUT us, but most of the time people who CARE ABOUT you do not know how to CARE for you. This does not make them bad people, it just identifies our individual gifts. In other words your car mechanic may be concerned about your healtth but he only knows how to attend to the needs of your car. 1 Corinthiaans 7:7 - "For I would that all men were euen as I myself: but euery man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that."
    MUCH LOVE, Dad

    1. Good insight Dad. I know you care for me :-). You're one of my biggest supporters and I really appreciate that!!!


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