Friday, April 25, 2014


So there have been quite a few things going in my life lately and it has caused me to look at myself and how I deal with life. From the surface, I think many times it may appear that I don't care about people. Sometimes, that's true but many times it's not. The people that I care about the most are my family. If they are going through something, then I'm also going through it.

However, I know that I haven't always displayed lots of affection and attention to them. Mostly, because I was young and dealt life the best way I knew how. Which included being selfish and self-centered. So now that I'm older, it's super important that I am able to show the ones that I love that I care about them.

So of course if I am this way with my family, I wouldn't treat those who don't know me any different. In a sense, I think that when you don't allow yourself to be deeply connected to others you protect yourself from heartache and pain. However, I also believe that it can backfire on you.

I honestly can't really relate to having my heartbroken other than my freshman year of college. Now don't get me wrong I have been hurt by people but not to the extreme I guess. I purposely don't attach myself to others and I don't really trust others. I hate being skeptical and having my guard up but it's the only way that I know how to be. I don't have a lot of friends because I refuse to let most people into my life. When I do let people in my life they usually don't remain.

Even right now I'm writing because I'm dealing with a lot. I'm able to clear my mind through writing. I do have a few individuals that I can talk to. However, depending on the situation I'm not always able to say everything that I want to say. So I'm not heartless, I just don't show a lot of emotion.


I no longer want to be that person.

If you like this post feel free to like my Facebook page PurposeDrivenAmbition:

Tuesday, April 22, 2014


One thing that I have extreme difficulty with is forming long lasting bonds with other women. In some ways, I just can't identify with most women. I still haven't determined the root cause of this. I have even wished that I don't marry a minister or pastor just so that I don't have to socialize or entertain the other women in the church. I know that's very selfish of me.

However, I realize that I have been equipped to share my experiences and knowledge with other females. More importantly young girls. There are some things that I experienced in life that I tried to handle on my own. I keep a lot inside and sometimes that isn't good especially for younger females.

Sometimes, I feel like my personality and gifts don't match. I don't like opening up but it's like I know I have to if I want to help others. Even as a big sis, I tried to maintain a certain image for my younger sisters. Now that I'm older I realize that if I communicated more with them (especially my two youngest sisters) it may have benefited them. My other sister and I were really close in age so we talked and shared a lot more with each other.

On a positive note, my relationship with my mother and my sisters is pretty good and I'm thankful to God for that. I just pray for guidance that I'm able to build bridges instead of walls. Maybe once I start talking I will realize that I do have more things in common with other women that I come in contact with.

You can't grow in a comfort zone. Your comfort zone may be something different. It's time to face your fears and step out of that comfort zone.

If you like this post feel free to like my Facebook page PurposeDrivenAmbition:

Sunday, April 6, 2014


I'M BACK!!!!! So it's been a month since I started my vegan journey, which has turned out to be 100% vegetarian and semi-vegan. Last week I found out that some of the pasta that I have been consuming may have eggs in it. So now, I will make sure that any pasta that I eat does not have eggs in it. Also, honey, gelatin, and glycerin are not considered vegan but I must admit that I do consume those. Nevertheless, I am happy to say that as of April 5, 2014 I finally reached my weight goal of 150 lbs. Funny thing is that I wasn't even trying to lose more weight. However, when you eat healthy and exercise regularly you magically lose weight :-). Now to not losing too much more weight and staying healthy.

If you really want something, you have to work hard for it. There are no shortcuts and there is no easy way out. If you put in the work you will get results. Even when you feel like giving up you must continue on. Even when others may think that you are crazy or going a bit overboard, you have to remember the goal that you set for yourself.

This picture is from this past Thursday, after a super stressful day at work but I still made myself go to the gym. You have to push yourself!!!!
If you like this post feel free to like my Facebook page PurposeDrivenAmbition: