THE PAIN OF CHANGE

One of the hardest things for a woman to do is to walk away from the man that she loves. Many times women stay in relationships hoping that the man will change. Truth is, a man has a better chance of changing a woman than a woman has of changing a man. Women will do whatever it takes to keep a man or get a man. However, some men don't feel the need to make changes in their lives because women have already accepted them as they are. You can't accept a man as he is and then expect or require him to change for you. Honestly, I don't even want someone to change to fit my mold.  Small changes yes, becoming a entirely different person no. God made us different for a reason. I do believe that there is someone out there that will meet most of my expectations, and I will meet theirs.

I have struggled for awhile now whether to stay in a relationship or to move on. One reason being that I know that I can be pretty demanding and very picky. So, I tried to suppress some of the things that I really wanted in a relationship and life but I still felt like I was selling myself short. I also felt like I was trying to change him. However, we are who we are and we should not require people to change just to make us happy. A relationship is about accepting a person for who they are. You have to decide if you are willing to live with that person for who they are. If you feel like you can't, then maybe that person wasn't meant for you in the first place. Sometimes, I fear that I may never get married because of my strong personality. Sometimes, I feel like my pickiness will get in the way. However, I have come to the conclusion that I would rather be single than to settle for a situation that I am not really happy in. I would never forgive myself for not being patient and allowing God to send the right person into my life.

I'm really not one to share such details of my life, but I know that there are other women out there struggling with the same issue. It doesn't mean that you are selfish if you want more for your life. It really takes a strong person to walk away and wait on what they really want in life. Most importantly, you can't make decisions based on feelings alone. You really have to trust God that he knows what is best for you. Deep down inside I believe that this is what God wants me to do. This isn't easy but I have peace with the decision that I have made.





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FAITH IN THE HOOD....

I just finished watching a documentary "Faith in the Hood" on the role of religion in a poor Washington, D.C. neighborhood. It was so touching to me because it showed me that individuals are going through so many struggles and issues. Having the ability to rely on God is what makes the difference in many of our lives.  It is easy to forget about the many struggles of others as I worry about my life and what could be better. Funny thing is, earlier tonight I was reading about how God's purpose for our lives is to give and serve others. So, while I will have problems in my life, my purpose for being here is not really about me.

Many times just a simple hello or trying to get to know a person for who they are can make a huge difference in their lives. We should never think that we are better than anyone else because of where we live, where we work or how much money we make. As easy as it is to judge someone by their outer appearance we should not be doing this.

I realize that I have so much to give to so many people. Although, I may not have grew up in the hood or the inner city, I feel that it is my duty to give what I can. This may be financially, spiritually, or emotionally. As a product of two historically black college universities (HBCUs), it is my duty to give back to an institution that provided me with the education that I have today. You have someone or something that has invested in you, make sure that you give back.

Many times we focus so much on achieving success that we forget where we came from. It's okay to want better and to do to better. However, you have to give back to your communities. The poor will never get rich if the rich keep looking out for themselves. I'm speaking of spiritual and natural wealth. The focus of our lives should not be self motivation of what we can do for ourselves, but how we can help those around us.

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