Monday, January 28, 2013


As a woman, I believe that certain roles are meant for women, and certain roles are meant for men. I do believe that there are exceptions to the rules, but in general some things just shouldn't be changed. I am speaking based on how I was raised and what I learned from my parents. Men are the stronger sex and they were created to protect the woman. Women are the weaker sex and she was made to help the man. Although the woman may be weaker, woman is never less significant than the man. When God brought man and woman together he made them one. I see this as a team, a partnership. Each member of a team has a role. The roles are usually not the same, but you need each part for the team to work.

So, traditionally certain roles were given to men and certain roles were given to women. Men are known to be the protectors of the family and the providers of the household.  As the product of a stay at home mother and a working father I find it difficult to accept that a father wants to stay at home and the mother wants to go to work. That means that the woman is the provider of the house and that is not how it was meant to be. If  the woman finds it necessary to work, then the man should be working also. What kind of man lets the woman support him? Today's society has embraced the working mom and many times the stay at home mother is looked down upon. I'm an advocate of both but under certain conditions. I believe that every child deserves quality time with their parents. I also know that every parent is not in the position to be at home with their child. However, if you have the ability to be at home with your child, you should be. I appreciate my mother staying at home and raising her children. My father on the other hand, worked very hard during our younger years so he didn't get to spend as much time with us until he went into business for himself. 

I am aware that there are times when the man might lose his job and of course he is not going to sit on his butt and do nothing. Therefore, he might assume the duties of the household. In that case, the woman has no choice but to support the household. I also understand that sometimes both parents are required to work to maintain a certain standard of living. If God blesses me to have a family, I pray that I am able to raise my child and work from home at the same time for at least two years or so. I don't want to bring my child into the world for someone else to raise him or her. If I make the decision to bring a child into this world, I feel that it is my responsibility to nurture and raise my child.

A woman should have the right to do what she wants. That might be staying at home to raise the children, or going out into the workforce to pursue a career. However, having the right to do something doesn't mean that it is the right thing to do. It saddens me to think that a woman would have to or want to assume a front-line combat role. I will always see man as the protector, no matter how the roles may change in society. To think of a woman fighting a man on enemy lines is unbelievable. Women were not built for certain roles, men are biologically stronger for a reason. What are we trying to prove, that we are as strong as men? If we were, we would have been made men. I think we just might have crossed the line in the fight for equality. 

Is it time for us to catch up with the times?

Do your prefer traditional roles of men and women?

Would you want your daughter on the front-lines?

If you are a military male, do you think this is a place for a female?

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We should have total control over our minds and bodies, but many times they are controlled by other things. We allow media and people around us to misuse and abuse our minds and bodies. After a 21 day consecration, I have learned that many of the ideas/thoughts that I allow to enter into my mind are not necessary.  Additionally, a lot of things that we put into our bodies are not good for us.

Our minds are controlled by the shows that we watch on television, the music that we listen to, the pictures that we post on Instagram, the statuses that we post on Facebook, and tweets that we tweet on Twitter. Sadly, a lot of what I see posted on social media is discouraging. People are displaying ignorance and lack of self control for the whole world to see. Truth is, you have the ability to control how you are perceived. The first way to manage that is by controlling what enters your mind. You might say you can't control what enter you minds. However, you can control what you expose yourself to, therefore limiting what controls your mind and body.

Our bodies are our temples. Yes, you can control what you put into your body and what you do with your body. Obesity is only a problem because we don't have self control. We eat what we see based on convenience and desire. We don't exercise because the television has control over our mind. So, that next episode of Scandal (that's my show) is more important than a 30 minute workout. We would rather play a video game or spend all hours of the day on Facebook. It only takes 30 minutes a day of exercise to maintain good health. We find it so hard to find time to do things that are good for us because we are so busy being controlled by things that give us comfort and pleasure.

If you gain control over your mind you have won the battle. You will never be successful if you can't control what's influencing your mind. Everything starts with the mind. From the thoughts in your mind, actions are made. Those actions can be good or bad. You have to make up your mind that you want a better life that is not influenced by things that don't bring value to your life. If you want to be smart, shut off the television and pick up a book. If reading isn't the way you learn, find someone that will mentor you. If you want to look good and feel good physically, put in the work. Get off the couch, off the Internet, put the game away, and hit the gym. You have to make changes, you have to take back control.

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Friday, January 4, 2013


I was talking to one of my friends the other night and I actually learned something new about how we choose who we date. He told me that he had been taught to date a certain type of woman, but he has found that he prefers to date a simple woman. Let me explain. For example, I am in my late twenties, I have two degrees, a job, and no children. Therefore, I might be inclined to only date men that have similar attributes. I guess I found his statement interesting because I have never been taught to date a man based on his education or economic status, but rather his character.

However, the individual that I am speaking of is also highly educated, late twenties, and no children. However, he was taught to date educated, ambitious women. However, he has come to the realization that he just wants someone who will be there to devote their time. She doesn't have to possess several degrees or make a certain amount of money. Of course, she can't be dumb but she doesn't have to be highly educated.

For me, character is key when selecting a mate. However, I also prefer an individual that is educated, without children, and with similar life goals. However, it could be possible that two very ambitious educated individuals could find themselves neglecting time for one another. So maybe another version of yourself isn't always the greatest idea.

Would you typically date someone with similar qualities as yourself? Do the individuals that you prefer to date line up with the individuals that you have been taught to date? Is it okay to date someone based on one's education and economic status? Is good character enough, or do they need to have other qualities? Are you setting yourself up with unrealistic expectations of a potential mate? I know that everyone has different preferences, I'm just curious to see how you all respond?



Thursday, January 3, 2013


As I grow older, I realize that there are things that I have experienced in my life that I haven't dealt with. Sometimes, my way of dealing with issues is to not think about it all. However, you can't heal from a situation, if you don't attempt to deal with it first. I was reading a little while ago in "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren that God intentionally allows you to go through painful experiences to equip you for ministry to others. That ministers to me because I like to handle things on my own and I rather not share with others what I go through or have been through. So, I'm not quite there yet to share everything but in time I will be able to help others through sharing my life experiences. I have accepted the fact that I definitely have to open up more in order to deal with issues. Just know that you are not the only one going through your situation. If you don't have anyone to talk to write down how you feel. More importantly, always remember that God is here. I'm glad that God's grace has protected me and given me a second chance. I also thank God for strong parents who raised a strong young woman. Love you Mom and Dad.