Monday, December 30, 2013


I guess I'm at the age where I am going to keep hearing about me having kids. Believe it or not, I'm not worried about my biological clock. I'm a very smart young lady and I pay attention to those around me. Why would I rush into a situation if I'm not ready to be in that situation. How you see your life, isn't how I see my life. So, can I live my life? I don't need another person to complete me. Too many people are looking for another person to make them happy when they are not already happy with themselves. I personally don't care what others think about the way that I choose to live my life. I'm the only one that has to live with the decisions that I make.

There is never a reason for anyone to settle. Even if you start to feel lonely, don't give in. Love yourself and become the best you. Imagine how much more you will have to offer to your future spouse. As my dad said, "Wonderful people deserve wonderful people." If you know that you are an amazing person, why would you settle for someone not as amazing as you? I mean I'm better off by myself if you're not bringing more to the table or something different than what I already have. Hopefully, this will encourage someone who is looking for love but not completely content with who they are as a person. If you are meant to be with someone it will work out, you don't have to rush into anything.

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Monday, December 9, 2013

That's So Old Fashioned.....

There are some aspects of tradition that we should hold on to. Although, it may have taken me some years (forever) to arrive to this conclusion, some traditions really do make sense. Traditionally, when men were interested in dating a woman they would obtain permission from the father. Now, I know that sounds crazy for our society today. However, when I think about the guys that I have encountered in my life, I could have saved myself from a lot of trouble if I had consulted with my father first. Even today, the thought of telling a guy you have to talk to my father first in order to date me is a bit dated to me. Mostly, because I think that I'm grown and I have a hard time listening sometimes. Now, I won't go to the extreme of telling a guy that he has to ask my father permission to date me. However, I do go to my father for advice regarding men.

The best advice that a woman can get about a man is from a man. If you all didn't know I am a debater. So, many times I try to find another perspective on a situation. Many times I try to give guys the benefit of the doubt but father knows best. Even though I don't want to hear what he has to say sometimes, I know that I will be better off if I run my thoughts and feelings by him. Some women may feel like their fathers are overbearing and just want to ruin their lives. In actuality, the father is looking out for the daughter because many times he knows that women will experience hurt if they entertain certain men. Basically, when you don't consult with your father or a male figure in your life you are left to figure out things for yourself. Think about it, if you have a good father or male figure in your life he will more than likely be able to spot another good man.

I am so glad that I have matured enough to confide in my father. It is important that I take my experiences so that other young girls and young women can avoid situations that I have gone through.

Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence -- almost triple the national average.

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Wednesday, December 4, 2013

You're Not Alone....

Many times people like to focus on their strengths. However, it is really the weaknesses that other individuals can relate to. It is a reminder that we are all human beings. Today, I was asked what are two things that I need to work on about myself. I responded, being stubborn and being a perfectionist. Both of these qualities can be good and bad, but I think that I let them get the best of me sometime.

I say that I'm stubborn because when I have my mind set to do something, there is really nothing that will keep me from accomplishing it. However, sometimes it is hard for me to listen to others because I think that I already know. I can say that I have become a bit better with my stubbornness.

For anyone close to me you know that I'm very picky and that I try to do almost everything perfectly. Many times it is not necessary and can be very time consuming. It also causes me to be very hard on myself and sometimes hard on other individuals.

Unfortunately, these are things about me that may never change. As hard as I try to change these characteristics about myself, I still find it very difficult. At least I realize that these are areas that I need to work on in my life.

The purpose of this post was to express that no matter how strong of a person that you think that you are, we all struggle with something. Don't be afraid to expose your weaknesses and ask for help if needed.

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Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Why Study Africa?

Today I celebrated the Department of African Studies 60th Anniversary 1953-2013 of the establishment of the graduate programs in African Studies at Howard University. It was amazing to hear stories of those that went before me. I was so inspired that it makes me want to enroll in a Ph.D program. However, there comes a time when you have to put what you already know into action.  I know you're wondering what made me choose African Studies. My initial choice was African American studies, but Howard University did not offer a graduate program in African American studies. Therefore, I chose African Studies. I chose African Studies, because as an African American I barely knew a thing about Africa. As I have said before, my history did not begin with slavery. My ancestors were brought involuntarily from Africa to America, therefore I identify with my African heritage.

I'm very grateful because there was a time when a black person, not to mention a woman could not obtain an education. So yes,  I'm very fortunate to possess a master's degree in African Studies as black woman. Who wouldn't want to know the history of the people that paved the way for you. People who allowed you to be where you are today. I have so much respect for my professors. I look forward to the day, when other scholars and students can say how they were influenced by me.

My concentration was Language, Literature, and Arts. I decided to study the film industry in Nigeria. My thesis was "Representations of Nigerian Women in Nollywood Films." I analyzed the role of women in relation to sexual objectification, social constructions of gender, modernity, religion/morality, beauty and love. I found many similarities between Nollywood film and Hollywood film. Presently, my desire to pursue film has increased. When you're born to do something (write, create films) you really can't run from that gift.

 Rather than embracing a history that leaves you out, you should a embrace a history that includes you in it.
What I learned in my studies is that Africa is not what you see on TV. Africa is a unique continent with unique people. Now that I am equipped with knowledge it is my responsibility to share the real Africa with the rest of the world. Especially those that have a genuine interest in the people and the culture of Africa.

*My love of African studies and my love for film may not guarantee me a big paycheck but I'm fine with that.*

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Wednesday, November 13, 2013


What a powerful and touching movie. It shows us how your world can be turned upside down in a moment. After seeing this movie, I don't see how anyone (especially a black person) could ever utter a slave joke.  Yes, this story may have taken place many years ago but it is very relevant to the person that I am today.  I will never forget my past, because it has allowed me to be where I am today.

It is important that individuals of the African Diaspora know who they are and the history of their ancestors. Otherwise, you will never be able to put your current life into perspective. Sadly, movies like this are the only black history (other than Black History Month and what's taught in school) that some of our black youth will be exposed to. It is very important that we carry on our legacy.  I believe that if our black youth really understood what their ancestors went through to get  them to where they are today, there wouldn't be so much black on black violence.

We also have to remember that black history did not begin with slavery. I think that it is necessary for us to explore our history before we were enslaved. Unfortunately, we may not know what specific country we originated from but a general study of Africa and other Caribbean nations  is a good start. I didn't know much about Africa until I initiated my studies in African Studies at Howard University in August 2007. I learned so much, that I feel like every black person should seek to know their history.

There were so many things that I took away from this movie. It really bothered me how Christianity was used to enforce such cruel injustice. Even today, Christianity (The Christian Church) is still divided by race. That's another subject for another post. One of the main reasons that I want to pursue film is that there are not enough positive images of black people portrayed in television and film. This was a great film. However, I also want to see different portrayals of black people. Actually, this movie did show us what life was like for a free black person and I can appreciate that. If we can get a good mixture of films and television shows that accurately portray black people that would be a huge accomplishment. No, you don't have to make the film, but you have to let your voice be heard. You have to support what you believe in.  So, it's up to you and I, we have a lot of work to do.

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Tuesday, November 12, 2013


When I put my life into perspective, I know that I can't have it all. I will never be good at anything if I try to do it all. Just today I was thinking, well it looks like I will have to start rearranging my schedule. I refuse to become so busy that I discontinue working out. So, that means early morning workouts. This will be hard because I love getting my rest. It is also important to me that I am able to balance my natural and spiritual life. So my early morning schedule will also include morning mediation and scripture reading. I love working out and taking care of my body, writing, networking, fellow-shipping with other believers, hanging out with friends, and visiting my family. Even with no other commitments at the moment, I know that I must learn to prioritize.

 "My life ain't mine, it's his time."                                                                               -LECRAE

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
King James Version (KJV)

3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

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Monday, November 11, 2013


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Thursday, November 7, 2013


It's amazing what we put into our bodies everyday. My health and diet never mattered much to me until I began to gain a few more pounds than I welcomed. I mean when you have been slim all of your life, you tend to take advantage of not having to watch what you eat. Presently, I am trying to be conscious of what I am putting into my body and to stay in shape.

I want to challenge you all to compile a list of all the foods and drinks that you consume daily. I then want you to write down the health benefits and the health risks for each particular item. Additionally, I want you to walk into your kitchen and check the labels of everything in the refrigerator and cabinets to see what items contain trans fat. Unfortunately, even if the label says zero trans fat, it is possible that it may still contain trans fat. However, I want to focus on removing items that clearly state that there is trans fat in the product. I just checked my refrigerator and cabinets not too long ago and the only item that I consume occasionally that contained trans fat was of course the popcorn. There may be some other items that contain trans fat somewhere but I barely consume those products.

Okay, so now that we have completed that task. I have another challenge :-). Let's try cutting out fried foods, bread, pasta, rice, and desserts out of our diets for a week. So, I'm curious to see what everyone else is putting into their bodies as well. First, I want you all to comment on this post with what you find in your kitchen that contains trans fat. Secondly, if you want you can share the list of foods that you consume daily. Last, but not least I want to know what you ate during the week that you cut out fried foods, pasta, rice, bread, and desserts. I'm sure you will feel better and you will probably lose a few pounds. So, my challenge will start on Sunday November 10, 2013. I have did this before but I'm excited for everyone who will be doing this for the first time :-). We have to take better care of our temples my friends.


  1. SALAD
  11. CHEESE
  14. SALSA

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Wednesday, November 6, 2013


I'm back at it. I have been dealing with several things the last few weeks, but I can finally say that I feel like myself again. We all have our moments when we just wish that we could escape from our troubles. I tend to isolate myself from people when I'm dealing with things. However, that's when I really need people the most. I hate discussing what I am going through sometimes, it makes me feel like I'm complaining. I want to thank my loving family and friends for checking on me and encouraging me. God sent the right people to reach out to me to encourage me the more. One thing that I have realized is that even when I am weak I still have to be strong. I have so many people counting on me. My job isn't done until I leave this earth.  Even if I feel like I can't do something right now, I know that I will eventually be able to overcome that obstacle. So, I am going to make the most of the rest of the year. When I don't know what to do, I am just going to leave it in God's hands. I am so grateful for the life that God has blessed me with. I wouldn't want it any other way. I'll also try to work on my stubbornness, I'm getting better with time (right Dad???). I think I get it from him. I also pray that God helps me to deal with difficult people and difficult circumstances. Even in everything that has happened recently, I know that God will get the glory.

Phillipians 1;6

"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ."

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Tuesday, October 29, 2013

A Mother's Intuition

While at work today my mother called me to let me know that she is always here for me if I need someone to talk to. Ironically, I have been going through some things lately, which most of it my mother was not aware of. My mom always seems to call me when I am having rough moments in my life. Initially, when she called I just responded not letting her know that anything was wrong. Later on that day, I did give her a call back to discuss something. During this call I thanked her for her earlier call and shared with her some things that I am dealing with. I just think that it's so amazing the bond that God gives a mother and child. Perhaps, someday I will experience this bond with my children. I thank God for my mother. Love you Mom.

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Sunday, October 6, 2013


During a conversation the other day I was asked how do I establish my friend zone. Basically, how do I differentiate between someone that I would date and someone that I just want to be a friend.

So here I am a couple days later and I realize that sometimes I put God in the friend zone. I desire him to be there for me when I need someone to talk to. When there is a problem in my life, I want him to come to the rescue. I want the benefits of knowing him, but I haven't given him all of me.

God never wants to be in the friend zone. He wants an intimate relationship with us. When we are lonely he wants us to reach out to him. He wants your soul to thirst for him, and your flesh to faint for him. (Psalms 63;1).

When you take him out of the friend zone you will realize that he was always there for you. He is just waiting for you to make the next move. It hurts him to see us looking for fulfillment in everything but him. In love from day one, he wants to be your one and only.

When will you fall in love with him?

*Constantly learning and growing*

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Thursday, September 26, 2013


What do you think that you know about me? Now what do you really know about me? Not much huh? Social networks provide us with a false sense of intimacy. So you think that you know me based off of pictures that I post, tweets that I share, and text messages that we share. If only it was that easy. I show you what I want you to see. Even though it is the real me, it is not all of me. We no longer take the time to really get to know one another. It's easier to get on Facebook to see what's going on in each other's lives. Yeah, that might be a portion of what's going on in my life, but trust me there is so much more.

 Yes, we are all busy but sometimes a text message just doesn't do it. There is no life in a text message. It brings me so much joy to receive phone calls from special people in my life. I don't see my family as often as I would like so we talk on the phone and skype. They know that I still exist. This is coming from a person that rarely opens up. However, I still prefer to open up over the phone or in person. Many times I write because I don't like opening up in person, but it must be done my friends. Don't expect relationships and friendships to last if you can't communicate with other individuals on a personal level. Real friends and real family make time for the ones that they really want to know about.




Friday, September 20, 2013


Searching for a church
Has made me so distraught

I mean this can't be
I want to find God easily

Where is the church?
Because I can't find it

Better yet...
What is the church?

So called Christians
With no commitment?

It's become a business
We must grow

More money
For a bigger building

Bigger building
For more people

In and out
Let's get the next group in

You mean....
Just an hour or two will do

You right....
Time is money

Plus we must accommodate
the saints....

The goal....
To fill every seat

But is it the soul
That we are trying to reach?

Meeting goals
But my soul is still lost

You welcome me
But don't even check up on me

Impersonal gifts and letters
barely impress me

But hey...
That's just been my experience

Finally understanding
What's really going on

Now I see....
The church is really me

Bought with a price
I have to share the life

But sharing is no good
If I'm not living it

So I'll keep living
I'll never stop seeking

Narrow is the way
Very few find it.


*There was a time when I couldn't understand why a Christian would stop going to church, but now I know that sometimes God is dealing with us.


Sunday, September 1, 2013


Sometimes I feel so strong,
Then sometimes I feel so weak.
Even when everything is going great, 
There is always something that could be better.
Every time I try to fill a void,
I'm always left feeling unfulfilled.

Busy with so many things in my life,
But wondering which one is the right thing.
It seems the stronger the desire, 
The harder it is to determine what is right.

I pray and I wait for direction
But waiting is not easy.
This test of patience,
Sometimes drives me crazy.

But I take the good with the bad,
Never will I stop trusting God.
For I know that he has a plan for my life.
Even if his plan isn't my plan,
I still accept his will for me.

- JEREMIAH 29;11

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Thursday, August 15, 2013


Have you asked yourself that question lately? It seems that when you reach a certain age, that the expectations of you getting married and having children increase. This is especially true for women. Why are we in a rush to get married? What if I'm not ready to be married? What if I don't want to be married? To be honest,  I haven't really thought much about why I am single because being single doesn't really bother me.

As a young girl, my parents taught me how to take care of the home as a woman. My sisters and I were taught to cook, clean, wash clothes, etc. So, even though I was taught what is expected of a woman as a wife, I never spent much time daydreaming about my wedding day. In fact, I never seriously thought about marriage until 2-3 years ago. Marriage was just another goal on my list and I would check it off when I reached that point in my life.

Present day, yes I would love to be married. However, being married isn't everything to me right now. Even in my happiness, I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me. It frustrates me when people can't understand how an individual can actually be happy with being single. There are so many negative connotations around being single, that you would think that something was wrong with a person that is happy and single.

I'm more interested in finding out who I am as a person, and making sure that I have it together. When it is time for me to be in a relationship that is destined for marriage, God will make that happen. Until that time, I'm not waiting on a man. I'm living my life single, happy, and blessed.

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Wednesday, July 17, 2013


It is important to know where you come from and to know your history. If we don't reclaim our past, we will never be able to move forward. There is so much healing needed for the African American community, we have endured so much. Yes, God wants us to be unified, but we must first know what we are dealing with. You can't move on from an issue if it hasn't even been dealt with. Racial hatred and prejudice is real and we just can't pray it away. However, you can show love towards to all people no matter their race, sex, ethnicity, religion, or economic status. Learn how to channel your emotions into something constructive.

If I didn't know God, I would be one angry bitter person. However, I know that God is the ultimate judge of us all. So even with all the injustice that we endure, I pray that God allows me to fight for justice in love. I commend all those that have gone before me to allow me to have all the opportunities that I have today. I want to thank my parents for teaching me my history. I also want to thank all of my professors at Virginia State University and Howard University because without them it is very likely that I may not have had an education.


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Sunday, June 9, 2013


One of the hardest things for a woman to do is to walk away from the man that she loves. Many times women stay in relationships hoping that the man will change. Truth is, a man has a better chance of changing a woman than a woman has of changing a man. Women will do whatever it takes to keep a man or get a man. However, some men don't feel the need to make changes in their lives because women have already accepted them as they are. You can't accept a man as he is and then expect or require him to change for you. Honestly, I don't even want someone to change to fit my mold.  Small changes yes, becoming a entirely different person no. God made us different for a reason. I do believe that there is someone out there that will meet most of my expectations, and I will meet theirs.

I have struggled for awhile now whether to stay in a relationship or to move on. One reason being that I know that I can be pretty demanding and very picky. So, I tried to suppress some of the things that I really wanted in a relationship and life but I still felt like I was selling myself short. I also felt like I was trying to change him. However, we are who we are and we should not require people to change just to make us happy. A relationship is about accepting a person for who they are. You have to decide if you are willing to live with that person for who they are. If you feel like you can't, then maybe that person wasn't meant for you in the first place. Sometimes, I fear that I may never get married because of my strong personality. Sometimes, I feel like my pickiness will get in the way. However, I have come to the conclusion that I would rather be single than to settle for a situation that I am not really happy in. I would never forgive myself for not being patient and allowing God to send the right person into my life.

I'm really not one to share such details of my life, but I know that there are other women out there struggling with the same issue. It doesn't mean that you are selfish if you want more for your life. It really takes a strong person to walk away and wait on what they really want in life. Most importantly, you can't make decisions based on feelings alone. You really have to trust God that he knows what is best for you. Deep down inside I believe that this is what God wants me to do. This isn't easy but I have peace with the decision that I have made.

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Sunday, June 2, 2013


I just finished watching a documentary "Faith in the Hood" on the role of religion in a poor Washington, D.C. neighborhood. It was so touching to me because it showed me that individuals are going through so many struggles and issues. Having the ability to rely on God is what makes the difference in many of our lives.  It is easy to forget about the many struggles of others as I worry about my life and what could be better. Funny thing is, earlier tonight I was reading about how God's purpose for our lives is to give and serve others. So, while I will have problems in my life, my purpose for being here is not really about me.

Many times just a simple hello or trying to get to know a person for who they are can make a huge difference in their lives. We should never think that we are better than anyone else because of where we live, where we work or how much money we make. As easy as it is to judge someone by their outer appearance we should not be doing this.

I realize that I have so much to give to so many people. Although, I may not have grew up in the hood or the inner city, I feel that it is my duty to give what I can. This may be financially, spiritually, or emotionally. As a product of two historically black college universities (HBCUs), it is my duty to give back to an institution that provided me with the education that I have today. You have someone or something that has invested in you, make sure that you give back.

Many times we focus so much on achieving success that we forget where we came from. It's okay to want better and to do to better. However, you have to give back to your communities. The poor will never get rich if the rich keep looking out for themselves. I'm speaking of spiritual and natural wealth. The focus of our lives should not be self motivation of what we can do for ourselves, but how we can help those around us.

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Monday, May 6, 2013


I just might be going through one of the most difficult times of my life right now, but as Bishop Derek Grier said today, God is able. So, I'm not going to dwell on present day situations, but I am looking forward to what I already know that God is going to do in my life. The other day, I was talking to a friend who is going through something similar in their life. Many times it is hard to talk about what you are going through for fear of talking to the wrong person or for me it is a sense of betrayal (talking behind people's back). Sometimes, you just don't want others to know that something is wrong or you just don't want to hear what anyone else has to say about the situation. Nevertheless, I just want others to know that you are not alone in what you are going through. Talk to someone such as your Pastor, or someone that is stronger than you and has been through a similar situation. Always remember to pray about it. Never stop praying even through the good and the bad. Your situation is not different than anyone else's situation. Look at your crisis as an opportunity to create something better out of the situation. I am asking all my readers to keep me in prayer as I continue on this journey.

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Saturday, May 4, 2013


Are you feeling stressed, tired, or depressed? Are you taking good care of your mind, soul, and body. In order to perform at our greatest level we must take measures to ensure that we are in good health. Do you know what it takes to maintain a healthy happy life? What you are doing presently and what can you do going forward to make sure that you are living life to the fullest?

Not sure where to start? I would like to invite you to the next event for our young adult ministry GetYourPowerBack GYPB. We just want to take time out to remind ourselves that we only have one temple and we must take good care of it. For those who are already maintaining a healthy lifestyle please come out and share your secrets with us. In addition to this, we offer the opportunity to share different things that we go through on a daily basis for additional support from one another. Mark your calendars and come and enjoy an awesome time with other young adults.

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Sunday, April 14, 2013


Many times it can be very hard to make certain decisions in life. What I have learned in life is that God either reveals the answer to us or he allows us to make the decision the hard way. Often times when we need to make decisions in our life we look to our family and friends for advice. Even when we are given good advice it is sometimes hard to make that final decision.

Recently, I have been struggling with letting a certain relationship go and I am convinced that God has revealed to me why I no longer need this person in my life. I feel like God was like she is having trouble making the decision so I am going to make it very plain for her to see why she no longer needs to continue the relationship.

Stubbornness can make life harder than it should be. I can be very stubborn at times, but I am grateful that God revealed this to me rather sooner than later. Like the saying goes, "If you play with fire, you will get burnt." Revelations will come, some will come without hardships and pain and others will come after you have gone through the storm. Many times you have control over whether you go through the storm and how long you go through the storm.


Thursday, March 14, 2013


Fear and excuses will cause you to miss out on life. I have had a fear of water all of my life because I never learned how to swim as a child. I also had a horrible incident at a water park when I was younger. Nevertheless, I decided at the age of 27 that I was not going to let my fear of water control my life. My biggest break through came during last week's swim lesson. I know how to swim, but I have difficulty treading water. So, last week my instructor puts a life jacket on me and says that I am going to jump in the pool. Mind you, I have never jumped into a pool a day in my life. I was scared, and didn't want to jump in the pool. I had two options, either jump in the pool or have my instructor push me into the pool. I went with jumping into the pool myself. After several jumps into the pool, we removed the life jacket and then I had to jump in and reach for the noodle in the pool. I was amazed, I was pretty much scared for nothing. Lastly, I had to jump in without a life jacket or noodle. My instructor was in the pool with the noodle, should I need assistance. I ended that lesson jumping in at 9-10 feet. I was very proud of myself. Even though it took someone else to motivate me, I overcame my fear of jumping into the pool.

Tonight, I returned for another lesson and I progressed even more. I was able to jump and swim in 12'6 feet water without the assistance of a life jacket. I even jumped from the diving board. I wanted to jump from the diving board without life jacket, but my instructor suggested that I try with life jacket. It's amazing how free you feel when you let go of fear. My advice to you is to face anything that you may be afraid to do. Life is too short to be limited by fear. Many times you will realize that you were afraid of something that is easy to overcome. If you never try, you will never know what can be accomplished in your life.

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Wednesday, March 6, 2013


Even with emotions withheld
It still remains the same

Soul ties are unbreakable
Memories are ineffaceable

Once we intertwined
Your demons became mine

After we joined physically
Our spirits became one unknowingly

Blind to the reality
Like that ain't me

Wasn't even aware of
What this could do to me

Now I fight to break the ties
That refuse to leave

*Sexual relationships may just seem physical, but there is always a spiritual element*

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Thursday, February 7, 2013


Which way do I go?
So many decisions to make.
My mind is so preoccupied.
Time is never enough.

My vision is so big.
It's hard to contain.
Can't do this by myself.
In his will, I will remain.

I try to comprehend,
But it remains a mystery
Looking for answers,
To questions that lie within.

Learning to pray about everything
Worrying is just a waste of time
I know I am here for purpose,
It's only a matter of time.

God is preparing me for something great. I'm just following as he guides me.

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Monday, January 28, 2013


As a woman, I believe that certain roles are meant for women, and certain roles are meant for men. I do believe that there are exceptions to the rules, but in general some things just shouldn't be changed. I am speaking based on how I was raised and what I learned from my parents. Men are the stronger sex and they were created to protect the woman. Women are the weaker sex and she was made to help the man. Although the woman may be weaker, woman is never less significant than the man. When God brought man and woman together he made them one. I see this as a team, a partnership. Each member of a team has a role. The roles are usually not the same, but you need each part for the team to work.

So, traditionally certain roles were given to men and certain roles were given to women. Men are known to be the protectors of the family and the providers of the household.  As the product of a stay at home mother and a working father I find it difficult to accept that a father wants to stay at home and the mother wants to go to work. That means that the woman is the provider of the house and that is not how it was meant to be. If  the woman finds it necessary to work, then the man should be working also. What kind of man lets the woman support him? Today's society has embraced the working mom and many times the stay at home mother is looked down upon. I'm an advocate of both but under certain conditions. I believe that every child deserves quality time with their parents. I also know that every parent is not in the position to be at home with their child. However, if you have the ability to be at home with your child, you should be. I appreciate my mother staying at home and raising her children. My father on the other hand, worked very hard during our younger years so he didn't get to spend as much time with us until he went into business for himself. 

I am aware that there are times when the man might lose his job and of course he is not going to sit on his butt and do nothing. Therefore, he might assume the duties of the household. In that case, the woman has no choice but to support the household. I also understand that sometimes both parents are required to work to maintain a certain standard of living. If God blesses me to have a family, I pray that I am able to raise my child and work from home at the same time for at least two years or so. I don't want to bring my child into the world for someone else to raise him or her. If I make the decision to bring a child into this world, I feel that it is my responsibility to nurture and raise my child.

A woman should have the right to do what she wants. That might be staying at home to raise the children, or going out into the workforce to pursue a career. However, having the right to do something doesn't mean that it is the right thing to do. It saddens me to think that a woman would have to or want to assume a front-line combat role. I will always see man as the protector, no matter how the roles may change in society. To think of a woman fighting a man on enemy lines is unbelievable. Women were not built for certain roles, men are biologically stronger for a reason. What are we trying to prove, that we are as strong as men? If we were, we would have been made men. I think we just might have crossed the line in the fight for equality. 

Is it time for us to catch up with the times?

Do your prefer traditional roles of men and women?

Would you want your daughter on the front-lines?

If you are a military male, do you think this is a place for a female?

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We should have total control over our minds and bodies, but many times they are controlled by other things. We allow media and people around us to misuse and abuse our minds and bodies. After a 21 day consecration, I have learned that many of the ideas/thoughts that I allow to enter into my mind are not necessary.  Additionally, a lot of things that we put into our bodies are not good for us.

Our minds are controlled by the shows that we watch on television, the music that we listen to, the pictures that we post on Instagram, the statuses that we post on Facebook, and tweets that we tweet on Twitter. Sadly, a lot of what I see posted on social media is discouraging. People are displaying ignorance and lack of self control for the whole world to see. Truth is, you have the ability to control how you are perceived. The first way to manage that is by controlling what enters your mind. You might say you can't control what enter you minds. However, you can control what you expose yourself to, therefore limiting what controls your mind and body.

Our bodies are our temples. Yes, you can control what you put into your body and what you do with your body. Obesity is only a problem because we don't have self control. We eat what we see based on convenience and desire. We don't exercise because the television has control over our mind. So, that next episode of Scandal (that's my show) is more important than a 30 minute workout. We would rather play a video game or spend all hours of the day on Facebook. It only takes 30 minutes a day of exercise to maintain good health. We find it so hard to find time to do things that are good for us because we are so busy being controlled by things that give us comfort and pleasure.

If you gain control over your mind you have won the battle. You will never be successful if you can't control what's influencing your mind. Everything starts with the mind. From the thoughts in your mind, actions are made. Those actions can be good or bad. You have to make up your mind that you want a better life that is not influenced by things that don't bring value to your life. If you want to be smart, shut off the television and pick up a book. If reading isn't the way you learn, find someone that will mentor you. If you want to look good and feel good physically, put in the work. Get off the couch, off the Internet, put the game away, and hit the gym. You have to make changes, you have to take back control.

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Friday, January 4, 2013


I was talking to one of my friends the other night and I actually learned something new about how we choose who we date. He told me that he had been taught to date a certain type of woman, but he has found that he prefers to date a simple woman. Let me explain. For example, I am in my late twenties, I have two degrees, a job, and no children. Therefore, I might be inclined to only date men that have similar attributes. I guess I found his statement interesting because I have never been taught to date a man based on his education or economic status, but rather his character.

However, the individual that I am speaking of is also highly educated, late twenties, and no children. However, he was taught to date educated, ambitious women. However, he has come to the realization that he just wants someone who will be there to devote their time. She doesn't have to possess several degrees or make a certain amount of money. Of course, she can't be dumb but she doesn't have to be highly educated.

For me, character is key when selecting a mate. However, I also prefer an individual that is educated, without children, and with similar life goals. However, it could be possible that two very ambitious educated individuals could find themselves neglecting time for one another. So maybe another version of yourself isn't always the greatest idea.

Would you typically date someone with similar qualities as yourself? Do the individuals that you prefer to date line up with the individuals that you have been taught to date? Is it okay to date someone based on one's education and economic status? Is good character enough, or do they need to have other qualities? Are you setting yourself up with unrealistic expectations of a potential mate? I know that everyone has different preferences, I'm just curious to see how you all respond?



Thursday, January 3, 2013


As I grow older, I realize that there are things that I have experienced in my life that I haven't dealt with. Sometimes, my way of dealing with issues is to not think about it all. However, you can't heal from a situation, if you don't attempt to deal with it first. I was reading a little while ago in "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren that God intentionally allows you to go through painful experiences to equip you for ministry to others. That ministers to me because I like to handle things on my own and I rather not share with others what I go through or have been through. So, I'm not quite there yet to share everything but in time I will be able to help others through sharing my life experiences. I have accepted the fact that I definitely have to open up more in order to deal with issues. Just know that you are not the only one going through your situation. If you don't have anyone to talk to write down how you feel. More importantly, always remember that God is here. I'm glad that God's grace has protected me and given me a second chance. I also thank God for strong parents who raised a strong young woman. Love you Mom and Dad.