Monday, June 25, 2012


Sex is everywhere you go. You see it on television, hear it in music, and read about it in magazines. So why aren't we openly talking about it with our children and with each other? Many people are hesitant to talk about sex. Sex is such an issue in society because many parents are afraid to discuss it with their children. Telling your child not to have sex is not enough. Parents would rather send their children to school and let someone else educate them about sex. Even though sex before marriage is wrong from a biblical standpoint there are so many other factors involved that are not being dealt with. Parents it is your responsibility to educate your child about sex. How you educate them will affect the rest of their lives.

Ideally, we would love for all children not to engage in sexual activity before marriage but that is not reality. While we preach that sex is wrong, we also need to educate our children and even some adults on why it is wrong. We first need to explain the spiritual aspects, but then we need to explain the natural aspects. The main advantage of two virgins waiting to engage in sex before marriage is that they do not have to deal with outside baggage such children from other relationships and most importantly sexually transmitted diseases. "Another advantage is that they get to experience that moment together without distractions of past experiences". (paraphrased words of my father). As a child, growing up in a Christian household, I was taught that sex before marriage was wrong. I knew that I could get pregnant and I definitely didn't want that. That was about all I knew about sex. The little that I knew about sex after that came from knowledge through my friends in school and college. Even through those years I didn't know as much as I should have known.

So even though I knew that it was wrong, the only physical consequence that I could associate sex with was pregnancy. I soon learned through other sources that birth control would take care of that issue. So, I can't get pregnant, I'm good right? I'm sure I wasn't the only child or young adult who thought that way. I have learned so much through research of my own that it is not that simple. Information that I hope to share with my children someday.

The sad thing about our society is that we will have sex with someone with no questions asked. Then after we have sex we ask the questions.  Looks like we have the steps reversed. We do not value our lives. Why are you afraid to ask your partner if they have any sexually transmitted diseases? With everything that is out here, why wouldn't you? Are you not aware of what is going on around you. Are you ready to die? Yes, it is that serious. Take a look at the HIV/AIDS rates, especially among women. That temporary pleasure could affect the rest of your life. If you are big enough to have sex, then you should and need to be ready to deal with the consequences.

When I have children I want to be able to sit down with my child and tell them that they should save themselves for marriage. I also want them to know that if they decide not to, that there are many consequences, some that even result in death. I don't want my child to have to do research on their own. I want to be able to give them the facts so that they know exactly what they are dealing with. I will in no way condone sexual activity before marriage, but I will warn them of what will happen if they decide to engage in sex. I know this subject is a little touchy for some, but hey somebody had to do it. Let's start talking to our children and to each other. Be Blessed.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012


How many times have you heard women say the phrase "I can't find a good man"? Have you ever considered that it is not the man with the problem, but maybe you have a problem? One reason that you might not have a good man is because you should not be out searching for a man. The man is suppose to seek out the woman. Now even though men may appear to prefer the easy, available women they really have no respect for you at all. Proverbs 18;22 tells us that "whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing". So as a good woman, you should have a good man and you should never settle for less.

Now the type of men that you entertain once you are sought out is up to you. The type of standards that you set will determine whether you will be discovered by a good man. Some times you find yourself in bad relationships because you are associating with the wrong people and congregating in the wrong places. If you go to the club in search of a good man it is very unlikely that you will find him. If you happen to meet a man there and he presents himself as a bad guy there is no reason to entertain him.  A lot of women date men that they know are not good for them and then complain about the outcome. If you decide to pursue the relationship you have no one to blame but yourself.

Secondly, you might be overlooking a good man that is right in front of your face. Sometimes, women have unrealistic expectations. If you focus on the wrong things you might miss out on a good man. Just as you are not a perfect woman, there are no perfect men. Therefore, you are not going to get everything that you want in one man. This will require some compromise on your part. Now you don't have to settle for a guy that is not worthy of you. However, if you are waiting for Mr. Perfect you will be waiting forever and you will find yourself alone.

Thirdly, the fact that you even exist is unknown. Now you can't expect to be found if you never get out of the house. By no means am I encouraging you to run the streets, but you have to have some type of exposure with the outside world. There are activities that you can participate in such as volunteering in your community and being active in your local church. What do you know, maybe you will meet someone while shopping at the store . You also have to surround yourself with individuals that possess the same values as you. I think that it is more important to know what to look for in good man than to know where a good man might possibly find you. If you don't know what to look for, you may be easily fooled by an appearance. A good man is respectful, caring, loving, and honest. These traits are displayed through deeds and actions. A good man will not cheat on you and he will not abuse you. My father has always told me that if a man respects his mother, he is more likely to respect you. If he doesn't respect the woman that gave him life, you can believe that he won't respect you.

Finally, what do you have to offer? Even a good man doesn't want just any type of woman. Good men have expectations as well. You should always strive to be the best woman that you can be. You can't expect to have a good man in your life if you are not a good woman. Reevaluate yourself, along with your actions and maybe a good man will find you.

Thursday, June 7, 2012


Today's youth lack good role models. If our youth cannot find role models when they walk out the door into this crazy world, they should be able to at least have role models at home. I am thankful that my parents were good role models to me as child so that I could follow their example. It can become a struggle to stay on the right path when everyone else around you is making bad choices. My peers and I should not have to struggle to find our way in life. We should have good examples whose footsteps we can follow in. We have plenty examples of how to ruin our lives, but we need more examples of how to sustain our lives. Thankfully, I have good examples of role models in my life, but it still becomes difficult at times because I need to be able to relate to individuals my age that are experiencing the same things as myself. Can you imagine a young teen or young adult that has no one to turn too? Recently, I have been making efforts to seek out others that are trying to follow the right path as well. Otherwise, I would not be able to benefit from others and I would not be a benefit to others. To make a difference in society, you have to be out there in society trying to make a difference. You cannot stay confined to your room if you expect to influence others.Once you step out of your comfort zone, you will discover that they are others who experience the same things that you do. You are not alone in what you are going through. Due to the lack of good leaders in the community, many times youth and young adults try to lead one another to the best of their ability. Youth are not properly equipped to lead each other, but they can definitely strengthen one another to strive for the same goals. Our generation need leaders with wisdom, experience, and the patience to work with us through our situations.Parents should be the first leaders in the lives of their children. If you don't lead your children, someone else will. Once you have followed a good example, you should be able to lead accordingly. There is no reason why I can't be the leader that I'm searching for.