Wednesday, January 25, 2012


What leads you to the point of forsaking what you know?
Does an escape from reality bring you to the edge?
You are at the edge, you take a jump, CRASH!!!!
You lived for a moment that turned for the worst.
Too intoxicated to realize that this moment was not,
At all what you had expected.
Whose life will you change, ruin, and destroy?
Unbalanced mind, unbalanced steps, which way will you go?
Which way did I go? I don't remember.
I struggled to remember, but the thoughts were gone.
Gone because they were never present.
You altered my thoughts, you controlled my actions.
Upon consumption you became a part of me.
Occasionally reminding me of that decision that I made.
A memory that can never be erased.
A haunting reflection in my rear-view mirror.
I try to push you away but you pop right back into view.
So escaping one reality,
Only to create a new reality.
This one I will never escape.
The old reality was easier to accept,
 But accepting has never been easy.
Who am I now, what have I become, how do I cope?
My thoughts cannot be my witness, they have been sealed forever.

*Once you make the choice to pick up the bottle, you are responsible for the events thereafter.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


Never did I think that I would be the product of divorced parents. When my parents separated, I was partially able to escape reality because I went off to college and I left my troubles behind. As a young adult I really didn’t deal with the fact that my parents were separated. It felt so different because I grew up with both of my parents in the same household for 17 years of my life. It is hard to focus on anything good that comes from a divorce especially when children are involved, unless they were living in a dangerous environment. The children are forced to pick sides whether intentionally or unintentionally. All parties are hurt in some form. At the age of 26, I guess I am finally accepting that my parents are divorced. Some children deal with divorce from a very young age so they may become immune to it, or they may learn to cope with the situation. However, when I think of starting my family it doesn’t excite me that I will have to bring my children to visit their grandparents at different households. My parents were married for almost 19 years before they separated. After all that time and effort, it didn’t work out.  It is God's plan that once you become one with your spouse that you remain with them forever. What I have learned as a young adult is that so many individuals do not take time to really work on relationships. Both parties may be at fault, or one individual may decide that they don’t want to work it out. It appears that people choose to leave rather than to deal with the issues. In my opinion there is absolutely no reason for people to be divorced three and four times. Sometimes, it is easier to go and harder to stay. There is no need to repeat the same cycle over and over.  I know that sometimes divorce is unavoidable; I just feel that we should work harder to strengthen and maintain relationships with those that we love and have committed ourselves to for the rest of our lives. So, I guess the moral of this story is that even though love is not enough to make a relationship last forever, it is the other components that will make it last. Most of all a relationship that is ordained by God has a good chance of lasting forever if both parties follow the leading of the Spirit.

Thursday, January 5, 2012


Due to certain circumstances we may find ourselves stuck with just having a job and not pursuing a career. As time progresses you may find it difficult to make your way out of that situation. There are also many individuals who pursue their education in one field, only to find out that they really do not want to establish a career in that field. That is unfortunate, especially after all the time and effort that goes in obtaining degrees and certifications. I am at the point in my life where just having a job is not sufficient for me. Two years out of grad school, I feel like I need to make certain things happen. I could easily elevate myself in my current position, but I would not be happy. After years of education and passion for media, my goal is to eventually establish a career in that field. Currently, I would love to establish my career in a media related position, however, it requires experience. You can only gain experience if you are given the opportunity to work in that field. In order for me to obtain significant experience, I would have to settle for a pay cut. A pay cut is something that I cannot afford with my current circumstances. Sometimes, we have to make difficult decisions and difficult choices to move forward. So, the only reasonable solution would be to change those circumstances. However, changing circumstances takes time and you have to think things through before making abrupt decisions. So now I guess it is up to me to decide what I really want to do with my life and act accordingly. I know that God will send the right opportunities to me, and that I have to be patient and keep the faith.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


Everyone has something that they do well. The last thing you should want to do it waste your time on something that you are not good at. Better yet, you shouldn't waste your time on something that isn't meant for you. Throughout life people chase after careers, get rich quick schemes, etc., only to later find out that they were chasing a false hope. There are certain situations where people become good at certain things through practice. However, I wish to focus on those things that we are naturally good at without having to put  a lot of effort into it. For example, you may be a good listener. In most cases a good listener is not someone who talks all the time. You can't possibly hear and understand what people are saying to you if you are talking all the time. You are born with certain traits and certain gifts, and they were given to you so that you could share them with others. So, if someone asked me what my gift was, I would say writing. I love to write, and through writing I am able to express my ideas and feelings. So through my gift of writing, I hope that I indirectly affect the lives of those who read my work. If you had to name your gift, what would it be? Some people are blessed with gifts that allow them to create income for themselves, it may bring them fame and fortune.  Others possess gifts that they share out of the goodness of their hearts and they may not receive recognition in return. You can try and imitate a gift that you don't truly possess, but you will never be successful in it because that gift is not yours. Some people have the gift to cook, and others have the ability to make sure that you don't go hungry. Hey guys, you won't just let anyone cut your hair right? They have to have the gift. Sometimes, we allow others to experiment with us to develop their gift and other times we would rather not. Take time to reflect on what you are good at. The gift that you possess is uniquely your own, don't be ashamed to share it with the world.