Monday, October 31, 2011

WILL YOUR MARRIAGE SURVIVE WITHOUT PREMARITAL COUNSELING?

I believe that premarital counseling is essential to a successful marriage. It could be seeking advice from your parents, your Pastor and his wife, a married friend, anyone who could provide insight on how to maintain a marriage. At first I thought that you could only learn from successful marriages. However, you can also learn what not to do from individuals who have experienced failed marriages. Counseling is very important because there are so many things that should be addressed before you commit your life to someone else forever. Sometimes, we are not aware of those things until an outsider makes it clear to you and your partner. Hey, you might even find out that you are not really compatible with that person after all. You may find that you need to wait a little longer before you get married. So many times people rush to get married without fully thinking about the decision that they are making. Better to wait and prepare yourself, then to regret a decision made to soon.  I have always heard that marriage is hard work. It seems logical to try and make sure that you are starting off on the right foot so that you have a better chance of a successful marriage. I would assume that most couples discuss whether or not they want children, when they want children, and how many children they want. I also think that financial stability is a good quality to possess before marriage. Financial troubles are the number one cause of divorce. If you start off your marriage in debt, it is possible that you will continue to deal with it. Especially, if you are not good with budgeting, saving and investing. All the love the in world cannot deal with an individual who may be addicted to spending money and digging themselves into deeper debt. Not discussing matters like this could create a huge conflict within the marriage if both individuals are not on the same page. Premarital counseling doesn't guarantee a successful marriage, but it definitely does not take away from a successful marriage. I highly recommend premarital counseling to any couple considering marriage.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

LIFE OF A PK......FACT VS. FICTION

My life as a preacher's (pastor's) kid has been very rewarding and very interesting. Many individuals have their own perceptions about children that grow up under parents who are either pastors, preachers, and priests. However, unless you are actually one of those you really don't know what it is like. All preacher's kids are not the same, therefore you cannot put us all into one group. There are a lot of similarities, but there can also be a lot of differences. I would say that my childhood was very fulfilling. There were a lot of things that my sisters and I were not allowed to do, but we still managed to have fun. As I look back on life, I realize that I didn't miss out on much. My life consisted of church three days a week and sometimes twice on Sundays. At that time, I really didn't appreciate having to attend church so often, but it built the foundation on which I live by today. I wasn't a perfect preacher's kid, but I wasn't the worst. I have learned from every experience that I have gone through in life. I have realized that my parents are the tree and my sisters and I are the branches, therefore we are all one unit. Even as we extend out, we will always remember where we came from.  There is so much pressure that comes with being a preacher's kid. The label preacher's kids holds us to a higher standard. We are judged very harshly because of the background that we come from. We have to live up to the expectations of our parents and those around us. When we don't, we are labeled as rebellious, disobedient, and wild. I believe that preacher's kids are not very different from any other kids. We want to figure out life on our own and we don't want anyone to tell us how to do it. That is one of the characteristics of being a kid. The lifestyle of a preacher's kid is good because it allows you to know what is right from wrong. One of the main differences is that we are taught what is right based on our parents understanding. As a preacher's kids there is no way of escaping it. Some kids do not have someone to tell them right from wrong. So, I appreciate being raised with values and morals even if it came with a price. As a child, I adopted those beliefs that were taught to me by my parents. As an adult, I use that foundation to maintain certain beliefs and hopefully passed down similar beliefs to my children. I will always be a preacher's kid, that's how I was raised and that is who I am.


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

DOES EXPERIENCE SUPERSEDE EDUCATION?

How has your education stimulated your career and how did experience play a role in that advancement? The importance of education has been stressed throughout my life through teachers, professors, family, and friends. However, many times if you have education without experience you will find yourself without a job in the field that you studied. Many jobs expect you to list your experience before listing your education on your resume. While education is important, they want to know what you can get accomplished for their company.With the current state of our economy, do you pursue an education or do you attempt to find a job where you can gain some experience? I'm fortunate to have finished grad school just before the economy began to experience very difficult times. Presently, if I had to choose grad school over pursuing a career, I would choose a career. Especially, if attending grad school required putting myself into deeper debt. However, some individuals are not so fortunate to pursue their career of choice without first obtaining education in that field.  Education is essential, but experience is knowledge put into action. Sometimes, you can get by with experience alone. Education is a good asset to possess but I believe that experience will allow to get further in life. There are many individuals in life that have succeeded in life without obtaining a college education. Education and experience make a great combination. Certain factors such as finances, and life events including marriage, divorce, birth, and death can effect how you prioritize education and experience. That explains why each individual will respond differently to this situation.   The great thing about both of these qualities is that no one can take away your education or experience, that remains with you forever.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

IF THIS WERE YOUR LAST MOMENT ON EARTH, HOW WOULD YOU HAVE IMPACTED SOCIETY?

Life does not solely consist of creating opportunities for yourself but making opportunities available to others. So many times we find ourselves trying to acquire material things that we forget about the people around us. Sometimes we have to be reminded of what is really important in life. You might be surprised at how a simple gesture, or kind word could really impact someone. This weekend my life was impacted by a simple gesture from my younger sister. In an attempt to strengthen our walk with God she brought two books for us to read. I was really touched by her actions. You must give and do unto others without restrictions. When you do things for others you should not be looking for a pat on the back. It is your responsibility to do good unto others. You should try to impact someones life in every opportunity that you receive. There will be times when you don't feel like it or you might be in a hurry, but you may not be faced with that opportunity again. You have to take advantage of today because tomorrow is not promised to you.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO FIGHT OR EVEN DIE FOR?

Are there things and people in your life that you are willing to fight or die for? If so, it would be fair to say that these things and people are very important to you. We generally compete for people that we love, issues that we are passionate about, and things that are valuable to us. However, people have different views on what is important and what is not. How do you determine what to fight for and what not to fight for? I believe that you will work hard for anything that is close to you. Does what you fight for make a difference in someones life including yours? However, sometimes when we take a closer look, some things that we are willing to fight for are not really that important.  Combating for the wrong people and wrong things can get you killed. Some people are really willing to die over material things that they of course won't have because they are dead. Those same people may be unwilling to work on a broken relationship with a loved one, family member, or friend. Other individuals seek to fight for causes that will help others, even if it means that they might not see the end result. It is essential to understand for what and why you are fighting for things.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

IT TAKES TIME TO TRULY DISCOVER WHO YOU ARE.......

Who are you? How would you describe yourself? Do you know who you are? Where are you going? Throughout life you will find yourself asking these questions. Others in your life may also pose these questions towards you. I have a basic idea of who I am, but I struggle to find out what really makes me happy. Life is a growing process until the day that you die. There is a saying, "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." It is very difficult to accept that life doesn't go as planned. I have always set goals for myself that I have achieved. I am at a point in my life where it seems like the goals that I want to accomplish seem to be afar off. As a 26 year old, I want to be successful and accomplished, but I understand that comes with time and experience. I am glad that I am ambitious and motivated and that I have a general idea of what I want for my life. Motivation comes and goes, you just have to make sure that it doesn't die away completely.I am finding out who am, the good and the bad. In order to better yourself you have to analyze your life and make necessary changes. I'm learning how to become God-centered instead of self-centered. It is good to have supportive friends and family to help you find yourself along the way.  As long as you are breathing you have the opportunity to learn something new about yourself, don't let that opportunity slip away.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH ANGER?

How do you define anger? Is it a feeling manifested through actions and words? How does it impact your daily life? Undesirable situations and circumstances create the feeling of anger.There are different levels of anger. It is very important that we manage our outrage in the right way. Some people internalize anger while others externalize anger. Both methods can be dangerous if not contained properly. If you internalize your anger and allow it to build up, it is possible that it can cause you to explode unexpectedly. On the other hand, if you display your anger physically, verbally, and emotionally you may end up hurting someone, destroying something, and maybe even hurting yourself. Once you realize how you deal with fury, it is important to see if you should make any changes. If you don't know how to deal with your anger, you should talk with someone about how to deal with your anger issues. If you don't deal with anger it can affect relationships and it can impact your life in general. The manner in which you handle situations, can make a big difference in the outcome.

Monday, October 10, 2011

IF YOU RUN FROM WHO ARE, YOU WILL BECOME SOMEONE THAT YOU ARE NOT.....

It is very important that we find our purpose in life. You can't do what others do, because that may not necessarily be what God wants for you. We all have dreams and goals of what we want for our lives. Some times we waste so much of our time chasing after things because we haven't found God's purpose for our life. This world is very cruel and it sometimes get the best of us. If you are not strong enough, the world will eat you alive. Finding your purpose in life can be a very difficult task. Many times different factors seem to affect your quest. Finances, relationships, jobs, and careers may impact how you view your purpose in life. Sometimes, what you want for yourself isn't what God wants for you. I do believe that if you put God first in everything that you do that he will give you the desires of your heart. You can't find your purpose alone. God puts others in your life to help you find the way. Many times we try to find our way alone and it becomes very discouraging when you don't find it. Run towards your purpose and you will find long lasting happiness.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

ARE YOU LIVING OUT OF HABIT OR DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU PRACTICE???

What do you believe in? Do you have values and morals that you keep? How did you obtain these beliefs, morals, and values. I strongly believe that if you are raised with strong beliefs, values, and morals you will maintain those things throughout your life. From childhood to adulthood, we are presented with beliefs, morals, and values that others tell us that we should follow. As time goes on, we may even develop our own beliefs, morals, and values. Individual experiences effect one's beliefs, values, and morals. Most of the things that I have been taught over the years stand to be true. However, I do believe that you can become caught up in doing things that you don't believe in. There is no point in practicing things that you don't believe in.  If you practice things that you don't believe in, you will be one unhappy person. Sometimes, it is hard to really know what you believe in if someone is always telling you what to believe. It is just as hard to change beliefs that have been taught over a period of time. It is important to know what you believe in and what morals and values that you have.  It is also important to know why you believe in what you do and why you practice certain things in life. Differences in beliefs, values, and morals separate individuals from one another. It is difficult to believe in things that you haven't been exposed to. So, if you haven't been exposed to something that effects my beliefs, you will naturally have a different belief or possibly no belief at all. Believe in what you practice, because if you don't no one else will be encouraged to believe either.

Friday, October 7, 2011

MAKE YOUR OPINION WORTHWHILE......

People always have their opinions about things. Yes, you are entitled to your own opinion, but many times other people do not care. What are you doing to find a solution to the things that you are complaining about? You can't just talk about issues that you are dealing with, if you expect a change to take place. If you think that your neighborhood needs improvement, start with your own household. If your household is straight, make yourself available to another family. Things are accomplished one step at a time. The problem with us, is that we want everything to be done right now without providing any real effort.  People complain about the economy, their job, their community, whatever they can find to complain about. If everyone stopped complaining and took some initiative to find solutions, things would be much better in our society . People expect others to fix what they are complaining about, while they sit back and watch. It doesn't work that way. If you are not willing to search for a resolution, then you should stop complaining. Lack of money should never be an excuse. Money isn't everything. Your time, education and support can be more valuable than any amount of money. If money was the answer to everything, then we would have no problems at all. You can make a difference in the world, by making a difference in one life at a time.  If you don't have what you want, then you need to get up and go get it. If you try real hard, you will eventually get what you want. After you have made an effort to bring about change, then your opinion might actually be worthwhile.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

YOUR BODY IS HERE, BUT YOUR MIND ISN'T!!!

There are times when you are physically present, but you find your mind elsewhere. You could actually be listening to what someone is saying, but thinking about something completely different. The worst time to let your mind wander is when someone is talking directly to you. If someone has taken their time to address you, the last thing that you want to do is waste their time by not being mentally present. You want to show that other individual that you are attentive and that you are capable of not only listening but understanding what they have to say. Sometimes our minds wander because we are dealing with alot and trying constantly to think of solutions. Other times our minds wander out of boredom. When our mind isn't being stimulated with what is presented before us, we let our minds drift to something else. If you allow your mind to wander too often, you may lose focus and it can affect the quality of your work. Distractions can also affect the quality of our relationships. Sometimes we don't prioritize correctly. Some thoughts have to be put off until a later time in order to properly address current situations. You perform best when your mind and body are on one accord.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

PROCRASTINATION

Are you putting things off until later? Do you find yourself rushing to complete tasks at the last minute? Procrastination is very unhealthy. It can create unnecessary stress that could have been avoided. Everyone has their own unique reason for why they procrastinate. There are times when we procrastinate because we are dealing with a difficult situation. The easiest solution at the time is to put the task off until later. Procrastination can become a way of life, if you don't make an effort to break that habit. It is not the norm for most individuals, but we all deal with some level of  unnecessary delay. For example, you could say that you will take out the trash later when you could take it now. It isn't major, but it still qualifies as procrastination. It is important not to prolong things unnecessarily. If you procrastinate all the time, you may find it very difficult to handle unexpected events that may occur in your life. Individuals who truly understand the importance of time will try minimize their procrastination. Tomorrow isn't promised to you, do what you can today.

Monday, October 3, 2011

TAKE A BREAK

We all need time for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be left alone. We get caught up in our daily routines that we sometimes forget to take time for ourselves. When is the last time that you had a peaceful, relaxing day? It could be a walk around the neighborhood, reading a good book, listening to your favorite music, or watching your favorite movies or television shows. If you don't relax every now and then, you may burn yourself out. It is not meant for us to work all the time. Even God rested on the seventh day.  You have to take care of your mind, body, and soul. Relaxation won't erase problems that you are dealing with, but it may help you deal with those situations better. Take time for yourself at least once a week, you need and deserve it.