Wednesday, August 31, 2011

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." Maya Angelou

Maturity is a ongoing process. As you begin to reflect on your past, you are able to realize how much you have matured over the years. Maturity allows you to analyze how you may have handled certain situations differently. It can never come too soon because it can save you from decisions that you might regret later. Maturity is derived from many lessons learned. Stubbornness can prevent one from maturing. Your unwillingness to change or see things from a different point of view keeps you in the same place in life. Maturity is displayed by how you carry yourself, how you respond to certain situations, and how you choose your associations. There are certain people that you can not associate with because they do not act maturely. Additionally, immature individuals handle situations differently from those individuals who have matured. Mature people try not to involve themselves in drama. When in the midst of a chaotic situation they either attempt to calm down the situation or remove themselves from the situation entirely. The worst thing to witness is an adult acting immaturely. If you don't know how to behave, what hope is there for the younger generation that is looking up to you? Maturity is learned it is not taught, it is a development that comes from within. You can be taught to be responsible, but you have to make that individual decision to act in a mature manner. Maturity is developed over time as a result of your experiences and circumstances. Although, you can never change the past, you can strive for a better tomorrow.

Monday, August 29, 2011

ARE YOUR THOUGHTS HOLDING YOU BACK?

At some point in your life you have or will over-think a situation. There is nothing wrong with being sure about something, but excessive thinking can be detrimental to your success. Over-thinking is basically when one prolongs a process because they haven't come to a final decision. It can also be associated with people who seek perfection or with those who worry too much. Over-thinking provides two results; you persuade yourself to do what you had initially planned or you can persuade yourself against it. When over-thinking goes wrong, you may actually end up with nothing at all.  Many times when you over-think something you are not satisfied until you make a definite decision. Other times, thinking to much can be used as an excuse for not making a decision. So many times people say, "I'm not sure yet, or I'm still thinking". This may be out of fear of failure, rejection, or they just may have difficulty making up their mind. Thoughts are meant to be shared, don't try to store everything in your brain. Sometimes, sharing your thoughts with others will give you that additional push needed to put your ideas into motion.  If you find yourself thinking about something too hard, take a break and come back to it. The break may refresh your mind and provide you with the answer that you need. You have those who over-think and follow through, and those who over-think and don't follow through. If you over-think but still follow through, you might just be creating unnecessary stress which could make your task appear harder to accomplish. If you are over-thinking and not following through on anything, then you are just wasting your time. Never let a thought hold you back from where you should be in life. Sometimes, you just have to clear your mind and "follow your heart."

Sunday, August 28, 2011

IF IT IS MEANT TO BE.....

Life doesn't always turned out the way that we have planned it. Some things that we want to happen for us in life, just aren't meant to be. The great thing about life is that every mistake, regret, and experience prepares us for the life that we were predestined to live. Although everyone's life is predestined, we are given free will to make choices on our own. More importantly, it is not as important as to how many times you get off track, but that you finish the course. A lot of times we say, "If it is meant to be, then it will happen." This statement is true to a certain degree. Sometimes, in order for things to happen you have to take a proactive approach to influence the outcome. So yes, if it is part of the ultimate plan in your life it will happen. If it is not meant to be, then there is nothing that you can do to make it happen. If you try to make something happen that was not meant to be, it will not last. Everything in life has a purpose, and everything happens for a reason.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

MONEY DOESN'T NECESSARILY EQUAL HAPPINESS

Many people think that money is the answer to everything. Life seems to pretty much revolve around obtaining more money. People always say that if they could just obtain some more money everything would be okay. Money actually seems to create more problems. Relationships are destroyed over money issues and many times innocent lives are ended because of monetary debt. Even if you have a lot of money and don't know how to manage it, you would better off without the money at all. It can make life a lot easier sometimes, but it will never replace happiness. Some of the wealthiest individuals are the saddest people in the world. Money doesn't define who you are. You can possess it today and be without it tomorrow. The worst mistake that a person can make is defining their life or worth based on money. Money does not define one's character, it is basically a tool used for one's advantage. We should never judge an individual based on how much money they do or do not possess. If you can be happy without money then you have experienced true happiness. Sometimes, not having money allows you to have a greater appreciation of money once you are blessed with it. However, this is not the case for everyone. Some people become rich and blow their money, not really appreciating it at all. If you can be happy with what you already have, you may have already discovered the solution to your happiness. Everyone has a different definition of happiness, but money will always be a temporary solution to happiness.

Friday, August 26, 2011

SAME WAY....SAME THING....SAME RESULT

Are you use to going about life the same way everyday? Does change frighten you? Nothing truly remains the same in life. We need to be open to change in different areas of our lives. Sometimes, if you don't allow change in your life you will not progress. There are times when you just have to stop and look at things from a different perspective. Change isn't meant for everyone. What works for one individual may not work for another. However, not wanting to change could be a sign of stubbornness and closed-mindedness. Change can be refreshing and it just may be the solution to a problem. Individuals who attempt change may demonstrate characteristics of courage, optimism, spontaneity, openness, and determination. There is no need to dream and wish for things, if you are not willing to change certain habits that may be withholding from your goals. If you desire to look a certain way, drive a particular car, own a house, find a job, or start a family; there are certain steps that you have take to acquire those desires. If your current actions aren't producing any positive results, then it is time for you to make some changes.  For those of you out there looking for different results, guess what? You are going to have to try it a different way!!!!!!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

CAN YOU REALLY RELATE?

Often we find ourselves uttering the words, "I understand" to individuals that may be experiencing difficult times. How accurate is that statement? Do you really understand what that person is going through, have you shared the same experiences, or are you imagining what you think it would feel like if you were to go through the same experience? It is truly hard to understand what another individual is going through if you have never personally experienced it yourself.  You may have a general idea, but it is not the same. Yes, you may have a friend or family member who may experienced it, but you did not experience it. Some of the best teachers, counselors, and leaders are people who choose to share their experiences with others. They are better equipped to assist other individuals who are going through difficulties, because they have personally experienced the same things. However, even if you have not experienced certain things in life as others you can still comfort them with kind words and deeds. Just something to think about the next time you get ready to say, "I understand".

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

SPEAKING YOUR MIND

There are certain situations where we find ourselves wanting to express ourselves verbally. How do you know when it is the appropriate time to speak your mind? In what tone should you express yourself? Sometimes speaking your mind can be viewed as disruptive, others times it may be viewed as courageous. Who determines what is appropriate and what is not? Many times you can discern whether you should speak your mind in certain situations. This may require humility, obedience, or respect depending on the individual that you are addressing. For example, if you are addressing someone such as your parent or an older adult you should want to make sure that you courteous towards them. However, a good rule of thumb is to address everyone with respect. There are different ways in which to speak your mind. You can yell, scream, speak firmly, or remain calm. Believe it or not, people are more receptive when someone is not yelling in their ears. Speaking your mind can be positive, and it can be negative. It just has to be done at the right place, at the right time for it to be effective. When you express yourself verbally be sure to have a purpose. There is nothing worse than a person who just talks to be heard, with no real meaning behind what they are saying. Also, recognize when your words are not being received, you do not want to waste your valuable time and efforts. However, don't give in too easily. Even though it may appear that you are talking to a brick wall, there could always be a change of heart. When necessary you should speak your mind, never let anyone take advantage of you by biting your tongue. Sometimes, not speaking your mind can cause you to be in worse situation than if you had said what was on your mind. Sometimes, standing up for yourself does require expressing what is on your mind. Benefits of speaking your mind include releasing stress, especially if you are bottling up various emotions on the inside. It can also bring about a peace of mind. Even if the situation doesn't turn out the way that you want it, at least the other individual(s) know how you feel and you no longer have to share those feelings alone. Before you open your mouth, think carefully about the consequences of the words coming out of your mouth. Speak your mind with wisdom and respect.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

DO NATURAL DISASTERS IMPACT YOUR RELIGIOUS FAITH?

Many times after people experience a natural disaster such as a hurricane, tornado, or earthquake they tend to express their faith in God. Why does it take natural disasters for us to realize that we need to get closer to God? It is very disappointing to see how people's faith increase during a natural disaster, but several months later they return back to their normal level of faith. Many times during a natural disaster church attendance increases, people pray more, and people engage in activities that they feel will get them closer to God. It is normal to be grateful that you were spared during a natural disaster. It is also okay to view certain natural disasters as signs of the times. Try not to let your faith be impacted by natural disasters. Your faith in God should remain the same. Each day you should put your faith in God, not only when something is going bad in your life. Natural disasters are a part of life created by God. It is not meant for us to understand why they happen. Some may view them as a "wake up call", others just as a part of life. If it is your "wake up call" then act accordingly.  The next time you are faced with a natural disaster you should be prepared because your faith in God should prepare you for anything.

Monday, August 22, 2011

TRUST THAT IS LOST IS HARD TO REGAIN

Trust is important in relationships; however, it should not be given away easily. Rather it should be gradually earned. If it is gradually earned it provides you a sense of protection until you decide to fully put your trust into someone. Everyone does not deserve your trust. Trust is very personal and intimate. It involves allowing others into some part of your life. Usually, it takes a while to know someone before you actually put your trust in them. You can't really trust someone that you have just met. Trust in its initial stages could be described as faith. You believe that they are a good person, or that they will follow through on what they said. However, you may not know them personally to actually trust that they will follow through. Once you have established trust with someone and that trust is broken it is nearly impossible to gain that same level of trust again. That memory of broken trust will always remain in the back of your mind. Many times the broken trust ruins the relationship. It takes a lot to put all your trust into someone. It can involve opening up to someone mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Be careful of whom you put your trust. Analyze the situation and follow your instincts, it could save you from unnecessary discomfort.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

FAILURE IS A REALITY

Many of us are familar with the saying, "Failure Is Not An Option". This basically means that you refuse to fail at whatever you are trying to accomplish. However, we are faced with failure whether we like it or not. It is not realistic to believe that you will never fail at anything in life. Failure is not necessarily a negative thing because it allows us to learn from whatever mistake was made. Obstacles and difficulties throughout your life prepare you for success at some point in the future. You may fail several times before you actually become successful at something. Sometimes you don't have contol over failure and other times you are directly responsible for your failure. You are only responsible for things that you can control. Try not to beat yourself up too hard if you happen to fail at something. As long as you get back up and try again you are not totally defeated. Always remember that you only remain a failure if you don't try at all. Every time you try you get closer to your goal.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

STEPPING INTO ADULTHOOD

Transitioning from a teen to a young adult can be a challenging experience. Whether you decide to venture off to college, start a family, join the military, or start your career your life as a juvenile is over. You truly feel the impact of being an adult when you step out on your own. You become responsible for paying your own bills, cooking your own food, and cleaning your own house. You no longer have your parents to rely on for these things. College can also provide a sense of independence depending on whether you decide to live at home, stay on campus, or obtain a place of your own. College is one of the greatest experiences of young adulthood if you decide to choose that route. It is doing these years that you meet lifelong friends and begin to find a sense of who you really are as an individual. If you are away from home during college, you don't have your parents telling you what to do and you have to make some decisions on your own. Adulthood provides a better appreciation of life because you are responsible for providing a good life for yourself. The key to a successful adulthood is the degree of motivation that you possess. If you continue to live in child's mindset it may take longer for you to reach certain goals that are expected of you and that you may have set for yourself. Young adults who have to work hard for what they get tend to value things more than young adults who are given everything. Therefore, you can never compare the progress of one young adult to another because we all have different backgrounds and responsibilities. Networking is one of the keys to success no matter what age you are. It plays a major role in adulthood. Knowing certain individuals can get you to many places. It is very important to network and establish business relationships because you never know when you might need them. As you step into adulthood, make smart decisions, strive to reach your goals, and enjoy life. Be sure to remember where you came from because where you are headed will be a whole different experience.

Friday, August 19, 2011

CAREER VS FAMILY

This is for all the women out there. Have you ever struggled with the idea of choosing your career over establishing a family? Is it really possible to give 100% and be successful at both. What comes first, establishing a career, or establishing a family. Is it even possible to establish both at the same time? It seems that in today's society many career-oriented women tend to be single or tend to wait until they are older before they decide to marry or establish a family. Family would include children, it would not just be the husband and wife. It is the addition of children that changes the whole perspective. Let's say you and your husband decide to have kids, do you stay home with the kids or do you return back to your career?  What if you pick your career over a husband and kids? Will you have regrets later on down the line. Maybe you decide you want to have kids now, how much will this affect your career? There is definitely a difference between a single career woman and career woman with a family. If she attempts to give 100% to her career, is there a chance that she may neglect her children in some areas? If she gives 100% to her family, then she probably won't have much of a career at all. These are difficult choices to make, and the decisions that you make impact your life forever. Just thoughts of single young woman.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

WHAT IS A "TRUE" FRIEND?

There are many people that are in our lives today that may not be in our lives tomorrow. While those individuals only remain in our lives for a season, true friends remain forever. A true friend will always be there regardless of whether they are near or far. Even if time transpires between visits or conversations, true friends can pick up right where they left off. Relationships with true friends are never perfect, but after all that you experience together or apart you continue to remain friends. Friends that really mean something to you become like your second family. There is almost nothing that you wouldn't do for them because they mean so much. Sad but true most people don't have the luxury of possessing many true friends. There are usually a few individuals that you can describe as a true friend. You can identify a true friend by their deeds, actions, and words. There are special bonds that true friends share. Even distance and time cannnot break the bond that you may share. True friends keep in touch. They remember your birthday, they inquire about your family, and when possible they spend time with you. Another way in which to recognize a true friend is to observe who remains in your presence when you are going through difficult times. It is easy for anyone to associate with you when you are doing good, but you know that they really care if that same person is right there when you are going through difficult times. They will take time out of their schedule to assist you with whatever they are capable of. True friends probably get on your nerves the most because you really care about them. It is very easy to hurt the ones that you care about the most. If you didn't care about one another then you probably wouldn't be as likely to get upset. True friends know the good and bad about you and accept you as you are. Relationships between true friends are lifetime experiences that can never be destroyed.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

WHO ARE YOU LIVING FOR?

Most people seek to obtain some type of approval from others. Many times this approval is given by parents, family, friends, and co-workers. It feels good to get approval from those around you. However, your life should not be entirely based on the approval of others.  It is more important that you live a life that you are personally pleased with. This may mean disregarding the advice that others give you concerning your life. It really is a waste of time to try to please everybody. If all the energy and time that you have is put into looking good for others and buying what you think others would want you to have, you will end up very unhappy. At the end of the day, the kind of car that you drive, the kind of clothes that you wear, the kind of job that you have, is useless if obtained only for the approval of other people. With anything that you do in life, always make sure that you are going after what you want. People will expect a lot from you but many times they will be the last one to help you fulfill those expectations. It is better to learn sooner than later that you can't please everybody, even those who you want to please the most.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

LOOKING GOOD AND FEELING GOOD

Your outward appearance tends to affect how you feel about yourself on the inside. For most people, when you look good on the outside you tend to feel good on the inside. Exercising and eating healthy are necessary steps to maintaining good health and a good appearance. There is no need to long for a good looking body if you are not willing to do the work. Having a beautiful physique requires discipline, determination, and motivation. It does require running, walking, going to gym, swimming, hiking, biking, or some physical activity. Everyone is not meant to be slim and trim, but there are benefits to being in shape and eating right. Exercise helps to relieve stress and also helps fight against disease. It is the combination of exericise and diet that does the trick. While exercise is good for the body, it defeats the purpose of exercising if you continue to feed your body with junk. Likewise, eating healthy and no exercise has its disadvantages as well. Although you may be eating healthy you may still be overweight because you are not burning off that excess fat. You may say," I have no excess fat." However, some of the slimmest people are in worse shape than those individuals that appear to overweight because they do not exercise and do not eat healthy. So to those out there with the "skinny genes" you need to hit the gym like everyone else. Any type of cardio exercise is beneficial to your heart. The easiest way to stay in shape and to be healthy is to make exericise and a healthy diet a part of your life forever. The key to staying on track is doing a variety of exercises and eating a variety of foods. Life doesn't have to be boring to look good as some may think. You can indulge every now and then just make sure you are not indulging more than you are working out. A good way to discipline yourself is to leave the junk in the store, if it is not visible it will be hard to eat. More than likely you won't feel like going out to get what you desire and you will have won the battle. However, there are times when you will crave certain things and you shouldn't hold yourself back from treating yourself every now and then. If you keep yourself from the things that you like all the time, there is a possibility that you will give up entirely because eating right just seems to hard. Most importantly, do what you feel is comfortable for you, everyone is not the same. Exercise and eat accordingly!!!!!

Monday, August 15, 2011

FORGIVENESS-MENDING BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS

Everyone can personally relate to this topic, whether you are the one forgiving or the one being forgiven. Forgiving may be one of the hardest things that we must do throughout our lives. It is very easy to hold grudges against people, but it is very unhealthy. When you forgive you allow broken relationships to be mended. It is unforgiveness that destroys so many relationships, causing the relationship to be ruined forever. However, forgiving does not mean that you forget what has been done towards you, it just means that you haven't allowed that situation to make you bitter towards the person that did you wrong. Forgiveness is a gradual process, you need time to completely forgive someone who has done you wrong. There is a saying, "I forgive you, but I won't forget." This is true to a certain extent, but a lot of times when you truly forgive someone for what they may have did to you in the past, as time transpires you tend to forget what they have done. The degree of forgetfulness does vary from situation to situation. Some things are easier to forgive than others. When you don't allow yourself to forgive others, you carry around that negative weight, which you may not even know existed until you come in contact with that person that you haven't forgiven. However, just because you forgive someone, that does not mean that you should allow them to take advantage of you. Some things in life are easier to just let go. It is better to be at peace about certain situations than walking around mad about what someone did to you. While you are mad, they are going on about their life not affected at all. You should always forgive others, because if the tables were turned you would want to be forgiven.  Sometimes, you don't even have to say a word at all for someone to know that you have forgiven them. Forgiveness takes place in the heart and can be seen by your actions. So examine your heart and make sure that you have plenty of forgiveness in there. The world isn't perfect and forgiveness is a requirement of a healthy life.


Sunday, August 14, 2011

PARENTING-from the child's perspective

There are two very different sides to rearing a child. There is the point of view of the child as they are being raised by their parents, and then there is the point of view of the parents in raising their child. The way that you raise your child greatly impacts their future. If you are not in your child's life, they will find someone or something to fill that void. One of the greatest lessons learned as a child is that family is everything. One good thing to know is that materialism will never replace the time that could be spent with your child. A good parent isn't perfect and will make mistakes along the way. They lead by example and expect the best from their child. One of the most amazing things about parenting is the sacrifice that many parents endure for their child. Good parents always leave that door open, so that should their child stray away they always have a place of return. The greatest relationship between a parent and child is when they both grow and learn together. You can be too easy on your child and you can't be too tough either. If you are too easy, they may not respect you and may view as their counterpart. If you are too tough, they may resist and try to get as far away as possible. However, you live and you learn and the way that you deal with one child may be different in the approach that you may take with another. The greatest rule to follow would be "Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." In other words, do the best that you can possibly do in raising your child. It may not seem like they hear you now, but it will pay off in the long run. A lot of times the change in the relationship seems to come about in those teenage years. It is during that time when the child feels as if they are being held back from so many things that they wish to explore. They feel that the person holding them back from these things are their parents. Then once adulthood is reached, after much maturation they realize that their parents were not holding them back from much at all. It is an unending cycle where parents continually try to keep their child from making the same mistakes they made in life. However, there are some experiences that everyone must go through as a part of life. I am grateful to have had my wonderful father and mother in my life as I live and learn. Most importantly, some of my best experiences have been shared with them.


Saturday, August 13, 2011

LAUGH OFTEN

This one was inspired by my little sister Rosalee Longshore. You only get one life, so make the best out of it. Don't be so serious all the time, life is way too short. Today's society is so serious, people barely crack a smile when they pass you on the street, saying "Good Morning" seems like asking for way too much. We have become so busy with our lives that sometimes we forget to just be happy. Smile and laugh as much as possible. Your smile could brighten somebody's day, and that joke that you have to share could take some of their sadness away. However, recognize those situations when you should be serious and when you should be playful. Take time to enjoy those little things. Don't allow emotions and sensitivity to keep you from cracking a smile. Loosen up a bit, and laugh until tears are streaming down your face. Make sure to always take time for yourself. If there is something that you would love to experience don't hold back, get out there and do it. Travel as much as possible, there is so much of the world to see. Don't get stuck in your day to day routine that you neglect having fun. Everything doesn't have to be planned, be spontaneous sometimes. The world is so much better with happy people. A good smile lightens the mood, encourages that individual that may have a been a little doubtful, eases pain, and most of all it looks good on you. Smiling and laughing provide such a positive feeling and the greatest thing about it is that it is free!!!!! Don't grow old in age bitter about what you didn't experience, "Do It Now." Please view the following link for the author of "Do It Now," my father Pastor Leevone Brock. https://docs.google.com/document/d/18D5cSplAKLYi5BRhzzBnG6-s6JddJIwiDpZzPOyxTOA/edit?hl=en_US


Friday, August 12, 2011

INGREDIENTS FOR LIFE

Live for today because tomorrow is not promised. Cherish every moment. Don't take for granted those that are in your life and the blessings that you receive daily. Even when you are going through trials and tribulations remember that someone else is going through a worse situation. Learn from your mistakes. Don't let bad habits become a way of life. Cherish friendships, good friends are hard to find and to keep. Drama doesn't look good on you. Take care of your mind, soul, and body. You only get one of each and once it's gone there is nothing that you can do about it. The world will go on with or without you, it's your responsibility to make a difference in it. No you don't know it all, and then of course you are not always right. Take time to listen and stop talking so much, you might actually learn something. Hope everyone has a blessed and safe weekend.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

COMPROMISING

Sometimes the hardest task in life is giving up something that you truly want or giving in to something that you may not really be sure about. This can mean giving it up 100%, 75%, 50% or even 25%. It could also mean postponing something that you really want now until later. Compromise usually requires consideration for others, because most of the time whatever it is that you are compromising usually involves people. It involves looking at the bigger picture and realizing that going without today isn't the worst thing ever. Compromising requires letting go of stubbornness, pride, and self-centeredness. Usually, compromising is viewed as a positive thing. However, it can result in negative consequences as well. So, it is very important to analyze for what and who you are compromising for. One thing that you should never compromise is your morals. If you feel that is not right, then you shouldn't do it. If you never expect to compromise, then you are not being realistic about life. In the ideal world, everything would go as expected and exactly the way that you want it, but it doesn't. Compromising can show signs of growth and responsibility. It usually involves letting go of the less important things to focus on the more important things in life. Compromising could also be learning a new way of doing things that could be very beneficial to you. Compromise is change and change is usually good. Your actions control the outcome, make it a good one.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Are you at a stand still in life or are you happy with where you are in life? Those goals that you set many years ago, have they been reached? If not, what happened?? Is there any chance of you getting back on track??? For those who have accomplished those goals that they set, have you set higher limitations for yourself now that you have reached those goals? No matter where you are in life you should never feel completely satisfied because there is always another goal to be reached. It might not even concern yourself, it may involve helping another individual get to where they need to go. Even if you haven't decided on a final destination, at least make sure that you are going in the right direction. Of course, there will be ups and downs, trials and tribulations, but as long as you know where you would like to end up in life, you can make it there. The direction that you are headed in life may not be in the same direction as your family, friends, and associates. However, that comes along with the journey, many people are only in your life for a season, there to help you to get to where you are going, but may not necessarily be there with you at the finish line. Even though life doesn't necessarily go as planned, some plan is a whole lot better than no plan at all.The choices that we make today, determine our tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

CODEPENDENCY

This topic was inspired by a message I heard in church this past Sunday. Individuals tend to be codependent without even realizing it sometimes. While there are stages in our life where we must be codependent, codependency can have a negative impact on one's life. Of course, one would expect a child to be codependent on their parents, or even maybe a disabled individual to their caretaker. Other than that, I really see no excuse for codependent relationships. Codependency demonstrates elements of low self-esteem, weakness, selfishness, self-centeredness, immaturity, control, overprotectiveness, and extreme love. Overall, it is very unhealthy to the individual benefiting from the codependent relationship and to the individual enabling the codependent relationship. While there are times in life where we may find ourselves in codependent relationships, once the signs are manifested you must end that relationship immediately. Continuely assisting someone physically, emotionally, or financially when they are not trying to help themselves is an example of codependency. There just comes a time in life when you have to say "NO". You can't always be the person that people run to with their problems, when they need something, when everything is going wrong. If you are that person,  are you able to run right back to them with your problems and situations? Many parents enable codependent relationships with their children long into adulthood. However, this only hurts the child because there comes a time in life where life lessons must be learned individually, and sometimes all alone. There are also friends who enable other friends out of a sense of loyalty. Many relationships between husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend can demonstrate elements of codependency. If you are only with someone for what they can do for you, then you are in a codependent relationship. You acting out of selfish needs may provide the other individual with a false sense of love. While the statement "Two is better than one" is usually true.  It only works out for the best when there is a healthy relationship between the two individuals and both reap benefits from the union. This applies to mom and son, boss and employee, employee and employee, sister and sister, any type of relationship that you could possibly imagine. There should never be a time in your life when you look at a relationship and question your motives or their motives. Not that there won't be questionable relationships, just makes you wonder who is depending on who and why. Now don't get me wrong everyone has to depend on others, that is just a part of life. But one-sided dependency (codependency) is not a necessary part of life unless you are child (not grown) or you require some type of assistance whether it is medical, mental, emotional, physical, or psychological. Words of advice don't be part of a one-sided relationship that only benefits you, you have so much more to offer. And for that enabler out there, sometimes tough love is the way to go.

Monday, August 8, 2011

SELF MOTIVATION

Self motivation is what truly drives success. It is that passion from within that gets the job done. It is the feeling of "I really don't feel like" but "I know that if I wanna get closer to my goal" it must be done. Honestly, that is how I felt today, all day. I wasn't feeling very well, so I contemplated skipping the gym today. Then I thought to myself, that will only make me feel worse. So, instead of taking the easy way out I took myself to the gym after work. and had a good workout. On top of that, I still had an errand to run after work and writing in my blog was the last thing that I felt like doing. But as you can see, we have a posting tonight. Self motivation is pushing past those physical, mental and emotional feelings if they interfere with getting the job done.  I decided to focus on self motivation rather than motivation because they can be two very different things. Someone can motivate you but it takes that extra step of self motivation to actually get results. However, that occasional word of encouragement does help along in the process of self motivation. You should never be able to blame someone else for your failure because that only means that you didn't try hard enough. So with that said, go after what you want, because you are the only one that can achieve what "you" want.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

COMMUNICATION

Communication is essential for any type of successful relationship. Many problems arise from a lack of communication. When there is a lack of communication, individuals tend to make assumptions on what they think they know. I personally feel that talking face to face is the best type of communication. In today's society we have so many means of communication such as texting, video chatting, and talking on the phone. However, these types of communications provide room for misunderstanding and miscommunication. On the other hand, when you are talking in the presence of someone else you can look into their eyes and really get a sense of what they mean and what they are trying to convey to you. A lot of times people feel more comfortable saying or writing things when they are not physically in the presence of the other person. However, that is not real communication. You need to be able to truly express how you feel, without hiding behind a wall. Many times, so many things go unsaid for many years and had those things been said life would have turned out quite different. If you ever feel like there is a lack of communication in a relationship, whether it be family, friends, work, church, school, or your community be the first one to mend that relationship. A good talk can change a bad relationship to a good relationship or vice versa. Information that you may learn from a good conversation can shed light on both parties. Relationships that you may have thought were necessary may turn out not to be so good for you, or you may find out that you may need to work harder to maintain current relationships.  Good communication prevents the misuse of time and encourages healthy relationships. Say what is on your mind because at the end of the day, if you don't say what's on your mind no one else will know what you are thinking.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER

So many times in life we tend to judge people and situations without fully understanding certain dynamics. We take what we have read or what someone else has told us about people and situations and accept that as the truth. I admit, I am guilty of this and many times I have discovered that what I had been told or what I  thought was not necessary true. Although certain judgements may be true regarding certain individuals, it is not fair to judge.Rather than prejudging people and their situations, first attempt to obtain the facts, and from there you can truly understand why people possess certain traits.Judging can be taught or it can come from within. Many times the people that we associate ourselves with tend to influence our judgements of others. So, if you continue to find yourself around others who are constantly judging people without a factual basis, please be a part of the solution and remove yourself from that negative circle. So with that said....tune in for my next posting soon!!!!!!

WELCOME TO MY WORLD


Hello Everyone,

Based on advice from a good friend, I have decided to start a blog. No one will notice you, unless you allow yourself to be noticed. From this blog, I hope to share my thoughts with the world, and display my writing capabilities. Please feel free to suggest topics for me to write on, it will help stimulate my mind. Hope you all enjoy reading!!!!!