Tuesday, December 27, 2011


Many times we wonder why we end up in the same situation time and time again. It is because we are not really dealing with the underlying issue. We often mask what we are dealing with. Ignoring issues and stopping certain behaviors does not necessarily mean that you have dealt with that situation. Never be fooled by the outer appearance. For example, let's say that you were an alcoholic and you stopped drinking to please others and to make a better life for yourself. However, if you never dealt with the issue that caused you to pick up the bottle in the first place, you may find yourself drinking again. People may congratulate you on your soberness, but you really know the truth . It takes alot to really figure things out. Sometimes taking advice from others is the right solution for your situation, but at other times it could be the wrong approach. If you don't deal with the issue, there is nothing that will ever take away the pain that you may be feeling. Getting to the root of the issue is very difficult sometimes because people don't acknowledge that something is wrong. However, there are times when people know what is wrong but they do not know exactly how to address it.We all have issues that we need to deal with, take time to address them properly.

Sunday, December 11, 2011


How many times have you seen something out of place and walked past it with the attitude "I didn't do it?" All of us are guilty of this. We often develop this attitude about situations that we deal with in our own lives. Even worse, we apply this attitude to others when we have the opportunity to help them out. When you avoid addressing difficult situations, the problem never becomes resolved. Sometimes, the problem worsens. You should never utter the words, "it is not my problem, or it is not my job." It is your job to help others and assist others with problems when they can't find solutions. However, before you can address difficult situations in someone else's life, you should deal with the problems in your life first so that you can better assist others. Once a difficult situation begins to manifest itself, deal with it right away. It is possible to help others with issues that you may have already resolved in your life. No one wants to go through a difficult situation alone. Many times you are the solution to the problem, however, you are not the solution to every problem. If it is in your means to help someone out, do what you can for them. Instead of running away from problems and difficult situations, be eager to find resolutions.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


Patience is one of the greatest virtues that an individual can possess. I feel that God's message to me this week, is that I need to be patient in all things. Everything will happen in due time. Sometimes when we rush things or interfere in situations we mess things up for the worst. Being patient is very difficult especially when we want things to happen right now. If you can master the art of patience, life will be easier. Hey, I actually frustrate myself more when I rush because that's when everything seems to go wrong. I have never been a patient person and one of my pet peeves is having to wait on people. I always try to be early to places so that others do not have to wait on me. However, the reality is that everyone is not on time and that everything will not happen when you want it. Patience is hard work and it may take a lifetime to perfect it. If you don't have something right now, then you don't need it right now. Everything that you need, God always provides. Life is all about recognizing your weaknesses and working on them so that you become a better person. You are not here for yourself, but rather to serve others. Serving others requires a great deal of patience. So wait, and listen to God, he will guide you in everything that you are dealing with.

Thursday, December 1, 2011


With all the stress that already comes with a relationship, is it really possible to maintain a relationship with someone when they believe differently than you? These beliefs could differ in religion, politics, finance, etc. Of course, we know that two people will never agree on everything. However, if you discover major differences in beliefs as you get to know one another, how do you address that situation? Do you attempt to change that other person's beliefs, or do you accept that person's beliefs for what they are and hope that they don't create conflict within your relationship. I believe that the most difficult differences that individuals deal with in relationships is religion, religious beliefs, and upbringing. If two people were raised differently they may find it difficult to find common ground as they attempt to create a life together. Especially with religion. Many times when two individuals fall in love, but being of different faiths, usually one individual converts over to the other religion. Someone has to compromise to make the relationship work. As I address this, I am not speaking of people who profess to be of certain religions. I speak of those individuals who actually practice what they believe in, day in and day out. Even though this may exist, I personally don't know any two individuals that actively practice their separate religious beliefs (different religions) in the same household without any conflict at all. Even individuals with the same religion but different beliefs manage to have conflict. Let's say that two individuals with different religions did manage to make the relationship work. What happens when children enter the picture? What religion would you raise the children under? It seems that it would be very difficult to try and impose one religion upon a child when the parents have different religions. What if you are of the same religion but were raised under two different denominations with major differences in beliefs? Could you make it work after been raised under those certain beliefs for such a long period of time? In regards to politics, could you maintain a relationship with someone that has different political views than yourself? For example, let's say you are pro-life and your significant other is pro-choice. How do you deal with that situation? If they decide to kill your unborn child will that have a negative impact on your relationship and will you be able to go forward with that person from there? Could that mean that if it is not a convenient time in the relationship for a child, that your child could be killed despite your personal belief? Would you be able to forgive them? Would you feel like you failed your unborn child because you considered a future with someone when you knew their stance on this issue? I only speak of political views that could possibly cause conflict within a relationship. Another good one would be one's perspective on lethal injection? If you believe in lethal injection but your spouse doesn't, does that pose a threat to your relationship?  There are so many issues that we may view as minute or unimportant, but once they are presented to us they turn out to be major conflicts within our relationships. I believe that if two people have similar beliefs that they are more likely to have a more successful relationship than two individuals with majorly different beliefs. Can two walk together, except they be agreed? Amos 3;3.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011


How many times have you packed for trip? Upon returning from that trip you realize that you did not need and did not use some things that you took along with you. Many times in life we carry around things or people in our life that we really don't need. These things or people are not necessarily a negative influence, but they also don't add anything positive to your life. Take a moment, can you think of anyone or anything that is currently in your life but they are not benefiting you? They basically provide you with a false sense of fulfillment. We keep these individuals or things around just in case. It is very important that we find out who and what we really need in our lives. Sometimes it is not the obvious things, so you may really have to devote some time to this task. Once you remove the excess and unnecessary baggage from your life you will have more room for positive things in your life. You will also be able to give more of yourself to others because the load that you were carrying has been lightened. Don't hold on to unnecessary baggage, if you haven't used it by now then chances are you won't need it. If you do need it, God will make a way for it to be in your life.

Sunday, November 20, 2011


Many times we put so much effort into plans that we have for our lives that we forget to prepare for the inevitable. Life doesn't always go as planned, so it is very important to have a backup plan. In society today, we have many athletes that rely on their talent alone and when that fails them they have nothing to fall back on. For example, the NBA lockout is affecting many NBA players. Without money coming in as usual they have to rely on other sources and skills to make up the difference. I believe that education should always come before athletics. Your talent may get you in the door but if it fails you, you will need something else to keep you afloat. Many people go to college and expect to find a job in their field. Sometimes it just doesn't happen that way, this is when Plan B come into play. It is better to have an undesirable Plan B or C, than not to have a plan at all. You can never put all your energy into one activity. As the saying goes, "don't put all your eggs into one basket". Life goes a lot smoother when you plan accordingly.

Friday, November 11, 2011


Weakness is not asking for help and then giving up. Many times we think being strong requires doing things on our own. However, there are situations in life that demand the assistance of those around us. Asking for help or assistance requires humility. God places certain people in our lives to help us through trials and tribulations. Individuals deal with many issues but are afraid to make them known for fear of what others will say and think about them.  One reason that people don't seek help is because they think that they have everything under control and that they can handle it by themselves. I personally hate asking others for help. I usually ask for help when I have exhausted all other possibilities. Depression and addiction affect many people in society. The last thing that you want someone to know is that you are depressed. Many times individuals try to mask their depression with other activities such as drinking and drug use in an attempt to feel better and escape reality. Activities like this can lead to addiction. So now you are dealing with depression and addiction at the same time. When we don't deal with one problem it often leads to other issues that make it even more difficult to ask for help. Maybe you are not dealing with depression but maybe addiction. It is very easy to become addicted to certain things, even things that we consider to be innocent. Just because you may think that something that you are doing isn't bad, it doesn't mean that it isn't bad for you. Hey, I am addicted to chewing on ice. Even though I know that it is bad for my teeth I find it very difficult to stop. You may have a more serious addiction, that may require seeking outside help from family, friends, or medical personnel. If we could figure out everything by ourselves there would really be no point for living. Living is about interacting with one another and helping each other in this journey called life.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

What If????

In life, we really have no closure when it comes to certain situations in our lives. I truly believe that our human feelings and emotions prevent us from obtaining closure. Ultimately, we are given two choices, either to accept the situation or resign from the situation. There is no in between. For example, many times when you lose a loved one there is no real feeling of closure. You come to accept that they are gone, or you refuse to accept that they are no longer in your life. Some may believe that forgiveness is closure. Nothing is really ever forgotten, no matter how much you may have forgiven a person. Even in a divorce or a breakup, there is no closure. You may wonder "what if". You accept the outcome by dealing with it and moving on. Moving on is evidence of accepting the situation. If, you hold on to something that is no longer present you are living in denial. Resigning from a situation is just the opposite of closure because you don't deal with the situation, you just give up. Many times when people are in compromising predicaments, rather than deal with the situation they just resign. Resigning doesn't provide a feeling of closure and it actually provides more questions regarding the situation. Accepting a circumstance does not mean that you will never think about that person or situation again. Resigning of course means that the situation will always be present because it hasn't been properly dealt with. With time, some situations get better. However, if presently confronted with that situation old memories, feelings, and emotions may arise. We seek closure in many ways such a starting new relationships, picking up new hobbies, or even going to therapy sessions. I feel that these things allow us to refocus our minds temporarily. Sometimes, we may find what we feel like is closure, but if you take a closer look you realize that you accepted the situation for what it was.

Monday, October 31, 2011


I believe that premarital counseling is essential to a successful marriage. It could be seeking advice from your parents, your Pastor and his wife, a married friend, anyone who could provide insight on how to maintain a marriage. At first I thought that you could only learn from successful marriages. However, you can also learn what not to do from individuals who have experienced failed marriages. Counseling is very important because there are so many things that should be addressed before you commit your life to someone else forever. Sometimes, we are not aware of those things until an outsider makes it clear to you and your partner. Hey, you might even find out that you are not really compatible with that person after all. You may find that you need to wait a little longer before you get married. So many times people rush to get married without fully thinking about the decision that they are making. Better to wait and prepare yourself, then to regret a decision made to soon.  I have always heard that marriage is hard work. It seems logical to try and make sure that you are starting off on the right foot so that you have a better chance of a successful marriage. I would assume that most couples discuss whether or not they want children, when they want children, and how many children they want. I also think that financial stability is a good quality to possess before marriage. Financial troubles are the number one cause of divorce. If you start off your marriage in debt, it is possible that you will continue to deal with it. Especially, if you are not good with budgeting, saving and investing. All the love the in world cannot deal with an individual who may be addicted to spending money and digging themselves into deeper debt. Not discussing matters like this could create a huge conflict within the marriage if both individuals are not on the same page. Premarital counseling doesn't guarantee a successful marriage, but it definitely does not take away from a successful marriage. I highly recommend premarital counseling to any couple considering marriage.

Sunday, October 30, 2011


My life as a preacher's (pastor's) kid has been very rewarding and very interesting. Many individuals have their own perceptions about children that grow up under parents who are either pastors, preachers, and priests. However, unless you are actually one of those you really don't know what it is like. All preacher's kids are not the same, therefore you cannot put us all into one group. There are a lot of similarities, but there can also be a lot of differences. I would say that my childhood was very fulfilling. There were a lot of things that my sisters and I were not allowed to do, but we still managed to have fun. As I look back on life, I realize that I didn't miss out on much. My life consisted of church three days a week and sometimes twice on Sundays. At that time, I really didn't appreciate having to attend church so often, but it built the foundation on which I live by today. I wasn't a perfect preacher's kid, but I wasn't the worst. I have learned from every experience that I have gone through in life. I have realized that my parents are the tree and my sisters and I are the branches, therefore we are all one unit. Even as we extend out, we will always remember where we came from.  There is so much pressure that comes with being a preacher's kid. The label preacher's kids holds us to a higher standard. We are judged very harshly because of the background that we come from. We have to live up to the expectations of our parents and those around us. When we don't, we are labeled as rebellious, disobedient, and wild. I believe that preacher's kids are not very different from any other kids. We want to figure out life on our own and we don't want anyone to tell us how to do it. That is one of the characteristics of being a kid. The lifestyle of a preacher's kid is good because it allows you to know what is right from wrong. One of the main differences is that we are taught what is right based on our parents understanding. As a preacher's kids there is no way of escaping it. Some kids do not have someone to tell them right from wrong. So, I appreciate being raised with values and morals even if it came with a price. As a child, I adopted those beliefs that were taught to me by my parents. As an adult, I use that foundation to maintain certain beliefs and hopefully passed down similar beliefs to my children. I will always be a preacher's kid, that's how I was raised and that is who I am.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


How has your education stimulated your career and how did experience play a role in that advancement? The importance of education has been stressed throughout my life through teachers, professors, family, and friends. However, many times if you have education without experience you will find yourself without a job in the field that you studied. Many jobs expect you to list your experience before listing your education on your resume. While education is important, they want to know what you can get accomplished for their company.With the current state of our economy, do you pursue an education or do you attempt to find a job where you can gain some experience? I'm fortunate to have finished grad school just before the economy began to experience very difficult times. Presently, if I had to choose grad school over pursuing a career, I would choose a career. Especially, if attending grad school required putting myself into deeper debt. However, some individuals are not so fortunate to pursue their career of choice without first obtaining education in that field.  Education is essential, but experience is knowledge put into action. Sometimes, you can get by with experience alone. Education is a good asset to possess but I believe that experience will allow to get further in life. There are many individuals in life that have succeeded in life without obtaining a college education. Education and experience make a great combination. Certain factors such as finances, and life events including marriage, divorce, birth, and death can effect how you prioritize education and experience. That explains why each individual will respond differently to this situation.   The great thing about both of these qualities is that no one can take away your education or experience, that remains with you forever.

Sunday, October 23, 2011


Life does not solely consist of creating opportunities for yourself but making opportunities available to others. So many times we find ourselves trying to acquire material things that we forget about the people around us. Sometimes we have to be reminded of what is really important in life. You might be surprised at how a simple gesture, or kind word could really impact someone. This weekend my life was impacted by a simple gesture from my younger sister. In an attempt to strengthen our walk with God she brought two books for us to read. I was really touched by her actions. You must give and do unto others without restrictions. When you do things for others you should not be looking for a pat on the back. It is your responsibility to do good unto others. You should try to impact someones life in every opportunity that you receive. There will be times when you don't feel like it or you might be in a hurry, but you may not be faced with that opportunity again. You have to take advantage of today because tomorrow is not promised to you.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Are there things and people in your life that you are willing to fight or die for? If so, it would be fair to say that these things and people are very important to you. We generally compete for people that we love, issues that we are passionate about, and things that are valuable to us. However, people have different views on what is important and what is not. How do you determine what to fight for and what not to fight for? I believe that you will work hard for anything that is close to you. Does what you fight for make a difference in someones life including yours? However, sometimes when we take a closer look, some things that we are willing to fight for are not really that important.  Combating for the wrong people and wrong things can get you killed. Some people are really willing to die over material things that they of course won't have because they are dead. Those same people may be unwilling to work on a broken relationship with a loved one, family member, or friend. Other individuals seek to fight for causes that will help others, even if it means that they might not see the end result. It is essential to understand for what and why you are fighting for things.

Saturday, October 15, 2011


Who are you? How would you describe yourself? Do you know who you are? Where are you going? Throughout life you will find yourself asking these questions. Others in your life may also pose these questions towards you. I have a basic idea of who I am, but I struggle to find out what really makes me happy. Life is a growing process until the day that you die. There is a saying, "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." It is very difficult to accept that life doesn't go as planned. I have always set goals for myself that I have achieved. I am at a point in my life where it seems like the goals that I want to accomplish seem to be afar off. As a 26 year old, I want to be successful and accomplished, but I understand that comes with time and experience. I am glad that I am ambitious and motivated and that I have a general idea of what I want for my life. Motivation comes and goes, you just have to make sure that it doesn't die away completely.I am finding out who am, the good and the bad. In order to better yourself you have to analyze your life and make necessary changes. I'm learning how to become God-centered instead of self-centered. It is good to have supportive friends and family to help you find yourself along the way.  As long as you are breathing you have the opportunity to learn something new about yourself, don't let that opportunity slip away.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


How do you define anger? Is it a feeling manifested through actions and words? How does it impact your daily life? Undesirable situations and circumstances create the feeling of anger.There are different levels of anger. It is very important that we manage our outrage in the right way. Some people internalize anger while others externalize anger. Both methods can be dangerous if not contained properly. If you internalize your anger and allow it to build up, it is possible that it can cause you to explode unexpectedly. On the other hand, if you display your anger physically, verbally, and emotionally you may end up hurting someone, destroying something, and maybe even hurting yourself. Once you realize how you deal with fury, it is important to see if you should make any changes. If you don't know how to deal with your anger, you should talk with someone about how to deal with your anger issues. If you don't deal with anger it can affect relationships and it can impact your life in general. The manner in which you handle situations, can make a big difference in the outcome.

Monday, October 10, 2011


It is very important that we find our purpose in life. You can't do what others do, because that may not necessarily be what God wants for you. We all have dreams and goals of what we want for our lives. Some times we waste so much of our time chasing after things because we haven't found God's purpose for our life. This world is very cruel and it sometimes get the best of us. If you are not strong enough, the world will eat you alive. Finding your purpose in life can be a very difficult task. Many times different factors seem to affect your quest. Finances, relationships, jobs, and careers may impact how you view your purpose in life. Sometimes, what you want for yourself isn't what God wants for you. I do believe that if you put God first in everything that you do that he will give you the desires of your heart. You can't find your purpose alone. God puts others in your life to help you find the way. Many times we try to find our way alone and it becomes very discouraging when you don't find it. Run towards your purpose and you will find long lasting happiness.

Sunday, October 9, 2011


What do you believe in? Do you have values and morals that you keep? How did you obtain these beliefs, morals, and values. I strongly believe that if you are raised with strong beliefs, values, and morals you will maintain those things throughout your life. From childhood to adulthood, we are presented with beliefs, morals, and values that others tell us that we should follow. As time goes on, we may even develop our own beliefs, morals, and values. Individual experiences effect one's beliefs, values, and morals. Most of the things that I have been taught over the years stand to be true. However, I do believe that you can become caught up in doing things that you don't believe in. There is no point in practicing things that you don't believe in.  If you practice things that you don't believe in, you will be one unhappy person. Sometimes, it is hard to really know what you believe in if someone is always telling you what to believe. It is just as hard to change beliefs that have been taught over a period of time. It is important to know what you believe in and what morals and values that you have.  It is also important to know why you believe in what you do and why you practice certain things in life. Differences in beliefs, values, and morals separate individuals from one another. It is difficult to believe in things that you haven't been exposed to. So, if you haven't been exposed to something that effects my beliefs, you will naturally have a different belief or possibly no belief at all. Believe in what you practice, because if you don't no one else will be encouraged to believe either.

Friday, October 7, 2011


People always have their opinions about things. Yes, you are entitled to your own opinion, but many times other people do not care. What are you doing to find a solution to the things that you are complaining about? You can't just talk about issues that you are dealing with, if you expect a change to take place. If you think that your neighborhood needs improvement, start with your own household. If your household is straight, make yourself available to another family. Things are accomplished one step at a time. The problem with us, is that we want everything to be done right now without providing any real effort.  People complain about the economy, their job, their community, whatever they can find to complain about. If everyone stopped complaining and took some initiative to find solutions, things would be much better in our society . People expect others to fix what they are complaining about, while they sit back and watch. It doesn't work that way. If you are not willing to search for a resolution, then you should stop complaining. Lack of money should never be an excuse. Money isn't everything. Your time, education and support can be more valuable than any amount of money. If money was the answer to everything, then we would have no problems at all. You can make a difference in the world, by making a difference in one life at a time.  If you don't have what you want, then you need to get up and go get it. If you try real hard, you will eventually get what you want. After you have made an effort to bring about change, then your opinion might actually be worthwhile.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


There are times when you are physically present, but you find your mind elsewhere. You could actually be listening to what someone is saying, but thinking about something completely different. The worst time to let your mind wander is when someone is talking directly to you. If someone has taken their time to address you, the last thing that you want to do is waste their time by not being mentally present. You want to show that other individual that you are attentive and that you are capable of not only listening but understanding what they have to say. Sometimes our minds wander because we are dealing with alot and trying constantly to think of solutions. Other times our minds wander out of boredom. When our mind isn't being stimulated with what is presented before us, we let our minds drift to something else. If you allow your mind to wander too often, you may lose focus and it can affect the quality of your work. Distractions can also affect the quality of our relationships. Sometimes we don't prioritize correctly. Some thoughts have to be put off until a later time in order to properly address current situations. You perform best when your mind and body are on one accord.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Are you putting things off until later? Do you find yourself rushing to complete tasks at the last minute? Procrastination is very unhealthy. It can create unnecessary stress that could have been avoided. Everyone has their own unique reason for why they procrastinate. There are times when we procrastinate because we are dealing with a difficult situation. The easiest solution at the time is to put the task off until later. Procrastination can become a way of life, if you don't make an effort to break that habit. It is not the norm for most individuals, but we all deal with some level of  unnecessary delay. For example, you could say that you will take out the trash later when you could take it now. It isn't major, but it still qualifies as procrastination. It is important not to prolong things unnecessarily. If you procrastinate all the time, you may find it very difficult to handle unexpected events that may occur in your life. Individuals who truly understand the importance of time will try minimize their procrastination. Tomorrow isn't promised to you, do what you can today.

Monday, October 3, 2011


We all need time for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be left alone. We get caught up in our daily routines that we sometimes forget to take time for ourselves. When is the last time that you had a peaceful, relaxing day? It could be a walk around the neighborhood, reading a good book, listening to your favorite music, or watching your favorite movies or television shows. If you don't relax every now and then, you may burn yourself out. It is not meant for us to work all the time. Even God rested on the seventh day.  You have to take care of your mind, body, and soul. Relaxation won't erase problems that you are dealing with, but it may help you deal with those situations better. Take time for yourself at least once a week, you need and deserve it.

Friday, September 30, 2011


Technology has begun to change people's behaviors toward each others for the worse. People no longer speak to you when they walk down the street. Instead, we listen to our music through our headphones, blocking out the outside world. You might even be considered old-fashioned if you do not have one type of electronic attached to your person. At times I have had my headphones in, cellphone in one hand, and Nook in the other hand. When you think about it, is all this really necessary? Why are we blocking others out? What happened to conversation? It doesn't only affect you when you are outside of the home, it affects you right within your home. I remember the days when we use to play checkers and board games together as a family. There was physical interaction with my parents and sisters. Today's family is so separated. With all of this technology, kids are addicted to video games, Facebook, etc. Parents are so caught up with work that they have brought home from their jobs that they are not fully attentive to their children. Even at the dinner table, individuals text and answer calls. I never realized how rude that was until my dad told us that he didn't appreciate us texting at the table when we went out to dinner one day. There really is no reason to be texting or playing games on your phone, when you have people that you love sitting around you. Technology is slowly taking away the manners that we once possessed. Unfortunately, I find myself practicing some of the behaviors that I speak of because some things have become a norm in society. When I catch the metro, I listen to my music, text and play games on my phone. However, I would never want someone to feel like they couldn't approach me to start up a conversation. Sometimes, when people try to converse with us, we feel as if they are bothering us. I guess we just want to get to where we are going without any distractions or disruptions. Forget about ignoring others, some of the things that we do are actually dangerous. I'm sure you have heard of people being killed or injured for texting or talking on the phone and not paying attention to traffic while running, walking, or driving. Technology has caused us to become distant, dangerous, and unaware because of choices that we make. Use technology for your advantage not to your disadvantage.

Thursday, September 29, 2011


You have to know when it is the right time to lecture a person. It is very difficult to determine the perfect timing. Sometimes, it is about the manner in which you lecture someone. Knowing how to communicate properly with an individual can be very important to the outcome of a situation. You can't appear to be judging them or looking down on them. You can give advice and provide guidance to someone without verbally abusing them. The worst time to lecture someone is when they don't want the information. People won't accept things until they are ready to accept them. Sometimes, it may appear that the individual isn't receiving what you are saying, but it doesn't mean that they are not. People have different ways of dealing with things. I think we tend to lecture people based on an initial reaction to a situation. It would probably be better to calm down and think about the situation before you speak. Are you qualified to lecture that person on that particular situation? Have you personally dealt with an similar issue? These are some things to take in consideration before you lecture a person. Lecturing is good, you just have to know when and how to lecture.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Some of us get it right on the first try, but the majority of us do not. Without second chances, life would be very difficult for all of us. Second chances are necessary because no one is perfect. You should never take advantage of a second chance just because you know that it is available. Hopefully, the mistakes that are made during the first attempt are avoided in a second attempt. The same mistake can truly only be made one time. When you become aware of what you have done wrong, the next time you participate in that activity you are making a deliberate decision. A second chance is a true indication of forgiveness, it is the step that follows forgiveness. I believe that a second chance can only be given after you have accepted and forgiven the individual for the mistake that they have made. It is easy to say that you have forgiven someone, but sometimes it takes true concern for an individual to give them a second chance. You can forgive someone but you are not obligated to give them a second chance. Saying that you forgive someone and actually forgiving someone are two very different things. We tend to discriminate on who we will and will not give second chances. Sometimes, this is done consciously and sometimes unconsciously. For example, it is probably easier to forgive a child over an adult. You may find it easier to give second chances to family and friends than to individuals who you do not know. Perhaps, you are super kind-hearted and you give second chances to everyone. If so, we might need more people like you around. A second chance is just another opportunity to get it right, so don't beat yourself up too hard about the first attempt, just know that you can do better this time.

Monday, September 26, 2011


The problem with many individuals in our society is that we want too many material possessions. Half of the things that we want, we really don't need. We look for opportunities to receive from others, when we should be looking for opportunities to give. God has blessed each and every one of us with a gift, so we can offer things that are not necessarily materialistic. If we stop thinking about ourselves all the time, we might discover different ways to help others. When we receive more, we want more. We become so attached to the things that we obtain, that we confuse wants with needs. More is not better all the time. The fact that you have a place to live, food to eat, and transportation makes you very fortunate. Anything that is not necessary for your survival could be considered a want. So many times we complain about what we don't have, when there are others who would gladly switch places with us.  We should stop complaining about what we don't have and be thankful for what we already have.

Sunday, September 25, 2011


Have you ever asked for someones opinion concerning a situation that you were dealing with? Did you find yourself upset with the individual's response. Do you hate the truth when it is not convenient for you? Many times we look for others to reassure us that what we want is right for us. When we don't get that reassurance we find ourselves upset. It is also important to realize that just because someone reassures you of something that you want, it doesn't mean that it is right for you. The truth can be hard to accept and it can be hurtful at times. We have to accept the truth despite the outcome. When we listen to the truth, we can find ways to better ourselves. Therefore, we should work on finding the truth and accepting the truth in inconvenient situations.  Often times people try to portray others because they are not happy with their true self. So, they take on a fake personality. Individuals go through very extreme measures to hid the truth. However, "the truth always comes to the light," so it is better to remain true from the very beginning. If you start off wrong, it is very likely that you will end up wrong. To get the best out of life, we must accept the truth in all types of situations.

Thursday, September 22, 2011


What part of your past is still present in your life today? Many times we allow our past to remain present in our lives. If we hold on to an unflattering past, it may prevent us from moving forward in life. The past is comprised of both good and bad experiences. There are some events in our past that we will never be able to forget. Truth is, sometimes the past hurts and some wounds remain open forever. However, if you don't try to deal with some issues in your past that impacted you traumatically, you may deal with those issues for the rest of your life. Some people may feel that their past has destroyed any hope for a better future. A bad past doesn't have to define who you are today. You just need a good support system and the willlingness to overcome whatever situations that you dealt with. There are some things that we must let go in our past, and there are things that we must always cling too. Some situations in your past, which may be both good and bad are actual learning experiences that prepare you for the future. The only time that you should allow the past to impact the present is when it has the potential to brighten your future.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


Please read the following links which discuss government involvement in how your raise your children: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/on-parenting/post/montgomery-curfew-controversy-how-much-is-this-about-location/2011/07/28/gIQAY6YWfI_blog.html. and http://chappaqua.patch.com/articles/can-government-efforts-help-parents-combat-childhood-obesity-2

Both of these articles deal with issues that are affecting our youth. However, I don't believe that government involvement is necessarily the answer. No parent should need the government to tell them how to raise their children. I personally don't agree with imposed curfews on children under the age of 18 years old. Although, I don't agree with children aimlessly roaming the streets, I believe that parents should control their children's whereabouts. The government cannot replace parents, it is the parent's responsibility to know where their children are. If you cannot account for your children's whereabouts then you might need to work on your parenting skills. Unfortunately, there are many children that have no parental guidance. However, that doesn't make it right to impose a curfew to all children under age 18 years old. I feel like it is punishing an entire group for a few individuals' mistakes. If I were to entertain the idea of a curfew, I feel that it should not only be imposed in urban areas. There are bad kids all over the world, in all types of neighborhoods. Even if you impose a curfew in one area, the crime may migrate to another area where there is no curfew imposed. So, if you really want to minimize crime, it seems as if you would need to impose curfews all over.

Obesity does affect many children and adults in America. However, obesity is a result of personal decisions that parents make for their children. Do you really think that people are unaware that they are eating junk and feeding junk to their children? It is good to implement healthy eating habits. The government can establish programs to aid in obesity, but the audience that they are trying to reach has to want the help. Individuals need to take responsibility for their health and for the health of their children. If the government really wants to help, they could work on eliminating the production of what they say is causing obesity. I mean with fast food restaurants on almost every corner, the temptation is very hard to resist for this fast paced society. So no, removing an obese child from their parent and placing them in temporary foster care is not the answer. Although, it may be seen as form of neglect it would do more harm to the child to remove them from their family. The government thinks that they have the solutions to our problems, but in reality they are the cause of some of these problems that we face.

Monday, September 19, 2011


Many times when you are extremely confident in yourself, others can mistake that confidence for cockiness or conceit. They might be right in their assumption and they might be wrong. However, it is possible to be confident in oneself without being overly vain. You never want to think too much of yourself, because what you have presently can be taken away at any moment. A good way to distinguish confidence from cockiness is by observing how a person speaks. If they talk about themselves all the time and talk about what they can do, then they are probably conceited and self absorbed. Cocky individuals feed off of the attention of others. Conceited individuals are so involved in themselves that there is little room for them to accept advice from others. So, if you find yourself unwilling to listen and take advice from others you might be close to being characterized as cocky and conceited. You can also be confident without having to say anything at. You can spot a confident person from the way that they carry themselves. Even though a person can speak confidently, confidence is best expressed through actions. A confident person is more likely to be respected over a cocky individual. Despite how successful you may become in life, always remember that you didn't get there by yourself.

Sunday, September 18, 2011


Have you ever realized that when you remove certain people and things from your life, that your life appears to be a lot easier? If so, this can be attributed to the negative presence that certain people and things possess. It sometimes takes a while to realize that the people and things around you are making your life more difficult than it has to be. Negativity affects the way that you think and it also impacts your actions. Some times when I am around negative people, I find myself becoming angry and upset. Most of the time it is because they have handled a situation in a way that I would have never attempted to handle that situation.  As a generally happy individual, one of the worst feelings in the world is for me to be angry and upset at someone. There are two ways to deal with negativity. You can give in to the negative presence or you can remove yourself from the negative presence. When someone says something negative to you that is not meant to be a constructive criticism, you can not let that comment get you down. Many times you will find that people that display a great deal of negativity towards others are not happy with their own lives. I believe that the way that you think impacts the outcome of certain situations. I feel that optimistic thinking helps create optimistic situations. I try hard to think positive and it has allowed me to accomplish many things that I wanted in life. Supportive family and friends has also encouraged my positive outlook on life. If you attempt to do something with the attitude that you don't think that you can achieve that goal, the chances are that you won't achieve it. It won't be because you are not capable of achieving those deeds, but that you refuse to open up your mind to positive elements. Removing negativity from your life creates more room for positive thinking and positive outcomes.

Saturday, September 17, 2011


Many times we complain about certain situations in our lives that we are directly responsible for creating. I can recall times when I have blamed my misfortune on the actions of others. Sometimes, things are out of your control and you can't affect what happens to you. Other times you experience situations based on personal decisions that you have made. A lot of times people look at others around them and say, "Well they seem to be doing okay." From that observation we try to emulate what we see others doing.  The thing about life is that each decision that is made, affects each individual differently. My outcome from a decision may turn out very different from your outcome. So many times I observe people and wonder why they do the things that they do. Then, I remember that I am far from perfect and I am blessed not to have experienced certain misfortunes in my life. I try to learn from others experiences so that I do not make those same mistakes. As a young adult I made several decisions without thinking of the consequences. I also made decisions fully aware of the consequences but continued with those activities. I am very thankful that God was merciful towards me to keep me from all the terrible consequences that I could have endured. I have also learned from consequences of certain decisions that I have made. If your attention can be caught from one bad consequence, hopefully it will prevent you from making numerous bad decisions. Without consequences people would probably do whatever they wanted in life, both good and bad. Consequences are good, because they keep me in touch with reality. Despite what many may imagine, there is no invincible man or woman on this earth.

Friday, September 16, 2011


What makes someone beautiful to you? Is it their outward appearance, their personality, or is it a combination of both? Is it something that you have been taught, or is it a personal preference? Many times people develop perceptions of beauty based on visual images that they are exposed to on television, in magazines, on the internet, and on billboards. Some people base beauty on one's hair, makeup and weight. Women deal with the pressure to be beautiful from a very young age. They strive to duplicate the images that they see from day to day. Weight seems to be one component of beauty that affects both men and women. However, there seems to be a lot more pressure in society for females to remain thin. This desire to be thin causes some individuals to develop unhealthy habits such as starving themselves. Bulimia and anorexia are eating disorders caused by individuals wanting to remain thin. The healthiest way to remain thin is to exercise and eat right.  However, the reality is that all individuals are not meant to be thin. Some individuals such as myself have to work real hard to stay in shape, while others are blessed with naturally slim frames. As long as you feel beautiful inside and out, then you can disregard what others may say about you. However, if you don't appreciate yourself as whole, you may find yourself giving in to the pressure to be beautiful based on what society has defined as beautiful. Men also deal with the pressure to be attractive. However, their struggles are not usually discussed to the same extent as women.  I believe that one reason that women struggle to remain thin is because they think that it makes them more attractive to men. I read in one study that men are more likely to leave their woman if she gained weight, while the woman would remain if the man gained weight. So weight definitely seems to be one of the determining factors of beauty. Of course, this doesn't apply to all men because men have different preferences. So is your definition of beauty based on what others have proclaimed as beauty, or do you have your own unique definition of beauty? Always remember that beauty comes in all races, shapes, and sizes. God made you the way that you are for a reason, never let anyone take that away from you.

Thursday, September 15, 2011


My family means the world to me.  I have been blessed with a very close, loving, and supportive family. Through the good and bad times we have remained strong. The experiences that I have shared with my family have taught me how I should treat my family. The greatest thing about family is that they usually accept you for who you are. There has not been a time in my life when I haven't been able to rely on my family. If your family is willing to take care of you, you should be willing to take care of them. You only get one family, therefore it is very important to express your gratitude towards them. Even though I don't see my family often, I have the greatest time when I do see them. Some of my greatest laughs come from sharing moments with my family. Family have impacted my life tremendously, and I seek to follow in their footsteps.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


Stress impacts all of our lives in some way or another. Knowing how to deal with tension is very critical for your health. Strain impacts people in different ways. It is very important for you to find the best way for you to deal with stress. Exercising is an effective method of reducing stress. If you don't find a way to deal with your stress you may find yourself overeating, not exercising, drinking, smoking, and neglecting the people most important to you. Another way to control tension is by trying not to let things overwhelm you. When you approach a breaking point take time to gather yourself and get back on track. I have noticed that when I'm stressed, everything seems to go wrong. Rushing, panicking, and worrying  never helps the situation. If you are stressed at work, the worst thing that you can do is to bring that stress home. It is a good practice to separate work life from home life. I know that it is easier said than done, but it is worth giving it a try. After a stressful day at work, I exercise by going to the gym or taking a run. Those activities always seem to release my stress. The reality is that stress will affect you, but you can't let stress control you, you have to control the stress.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


So I guess you're probably wondering what I'm talking about. I'm going to discuss my transition from wearing chemically processed hair to natural hair. For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted long straight hair. The desire was influenced by images I saw on television and by females that I encountered day to day. As a young girl, my mother did not allow me to put relaxers in my hair. The only method of straightening my hair was through a straightening comb or a flat iron. Even still, all the heat from those products caused damage to my hair. When I turned 18, in an effort to be like everyone else around me, I had my first relaxer put in my hair. I was so happy and I felt better about myself. For the next five years I continued to put relaxers and hair color in my hair. I also wore extensions from time to time which actually did more damage than good to my hair.  In June 2008, after one too many relaxers and hair colorings I decided that I would go natural. My definition of natural included removing all the processed hair from my head and wearing my hair in styles that required less extensive heat. I never thought that I would have come to a point in my life where I would actually cut off most of my hair and wear it in its natural state. I honestly thought that it would take a while for me to get use to my new look, but I actually loved the look which allowed me to embrace the change. Now that I am free I exercise without worrying too much about my hair, I can go out in the rain without worrying about my hair frizzing up, and I no longer have to spend hours on straightening my hair. Those are just some of the benefits that I have reaped since I became natural. Being natural is not for everyone. You have to really be comfortable within yourself and you have to know how to deal with negativity. Since I have been wearing my hair natural, I have dealt with positivity and negativity. When comparing a picture of myself with relaxed hair to my current state, this one lady said, "You were so pretty." I then realized that many people shared the same view that I once shared about beauty. Nevertheless, we know that people describe beauty in different ways. That will be another blog. I guess the worst part about being natural is that everyone will not accept you even when you have accepted who you are. Sometimes this can affect you especially in the workplace. Society has certain expectations when it comes to your physical appearance. The profession that you choose to go after also plays a role in what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. Unfortunately, there is no definite way of knowing  if you are being overlooked because of your appearance unless someone tells you that directly. As a young child and young adult I always wanted to look like someone that I wasn't. I have now come to accept who I am, natural hair and all.


Be yourself regardless of who accepts you or not. People will respect you more if you do not present yourself as someone who you are not. If you can't afford that expensive car or expensive house, don't try to prove something by purchasing it. In the end, you will be more embarrassed if your car is repossessed or if your house is foreclosed. Don't buy material objects to please other people. You are the one responsible for paying and maintaining whatever you buy. The same rule applies to dealing with people that you don't like. If you don't like someone, don't pretend that you like them when you are in their presence and talk about them when they turn their back. I would rather know that you don't like me, so that I know exactly what I am dealing with. Remember, the truth will always come to light. You don't have to try to fit in and be popular in order to have significance in this world.

Thursday, September 8, 2011


If you had to confess your greatest fears to someone, what would they be? Do these fears impact your life daily? Would conquering your fears make your life a bit easier? Sometimes, fear will keep us from enjoying our lives to the fullest extent. The greatest way to overcome dread is to tackle that fear? Confronting your fear may allow you to realize that your concern was over exaggerated. It may even become something in your life that you truly enjoy. If you are afraid of water, you should try learning how to swim. Perhaps, you are afraid of heights, try a ride at an amusement park.  Overcoming certain fears can prepare you for future situations that you may encounter. Sometimes, we are afraid of certain things because we are not familar with them. Imagine not knowing how to swim, and being in a situation where you need to know how to swim. Fear and panic are not a good combination. Fright can cause paranoia and paranoia can cause you to lose control of your life. You never want to let your fear get the best of you.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


This topic was inspired by the book, "Weird: Because Normal Isn't Working", by Craig Groeschel. While trying to complete all the tasks that we consider important, many times we neglect the people and things that are most important in life.  Instead of picking up the phone to call a friend, sister, or parent we send a text because we are pressed for time. You might say, "At least I was thinking about them." Were you sincerely concerned about that individual? Sometimes, we might have time, but after an exhausting day the last thing on your mind is picking up the phone to call someone. What if that was your last conversation with that person? Wouldn't you have rather had a more intimate conversation, than a quick lifeless text? You can't feel or hear the pain or happiness in someone's voice through a text. My mom, dad, and sister usually know when there is something wrong with me. They are able to sense it in my voice, something that can't be detected through a text. There are always five or ten minutes in a day to pick up your phone to call that loved one that you haven't talked to in a while. Our busy schedules often cause us to lose touch with family members and friends. We have become so busy that we are not aware of what is going on around us. Someone could be reaching out to you for help, but you are too busy to even recognize their cry for help. Relationships can be greatly impacted when other devices draw you away from the people that you love. People may feel like you don't care about them anymore. They may feel like they are being neglected and sometimes they may think that your affection is being applied elsewhere. Often we prioritize items based on what others do and say around us. Do you really have to partake in all those activities that you have faithfully implemented into your schedule?  The answer is no, but it can be very difficult to decide on what items need to be removed from your schedule. A good way to make a decision is to see if the activity is making a positive difference in someone's life including yourself? If you are not making a positive difference, then there is no need to waste any more time by continuing in that activity. Once you figure out what is really important in your life, you should notice a change. Now that you have finally prioritized some things differently you can go ahead and enjoy life.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Print Media.....Reading via books, magazines, etc....

Books are one of the most valuable sources of information. Although, reading may be time consuming, many times useful information is found within books. Reading allows you to increase your vocabulary once you obtain understanding of the new words that you come across. There is no sense in using a word if you don't know the meaning of it.  Many times people choose not to obtain their information through reading, because they would rather find their answer through an easier and quicker method. It is very important that we stay informed. Many times you will discover things that have been written in books, that you would have never discovered by listening to the radio, or watching the television. If you love to read, then you have an advantage when it comes to discovering information that others who don't read have not attained. Reading is the easiest and cheapest way to educate yourself. You usually have free access to libraries where you can read, people often donate free books for reading, and there is always the newspaper which is pretty inexpensive. The excuse "I don't know how to do that", is barely acceptable, because almost everything that you might need to know how to do is written down somewhere. A lot of times the issue is that , "we don't want to learn or know how to do certain things". Try to slowly incorporate reading into your day. Whether you are on the bus, on the metro, taking a walk, or walking on the treadmill, there is always a time and place to read. Once you become accustomed to reading on a regular basis, you may find that you actually like reading and that you are discovering new ideas and information.  Access to knowledge can create many opportunites for you, but you first have to use the tools that have been created for you.

Friday, September 2, 2011


Are you influenced by visual images, audio sounds, or written words? Believe it or not, we are all influenced by the media in many aspects of life. Radio, television, film, internet and print are various forms of media outlets. Throughout the course of the day most people either listen to the radio, sign on to a computer, read some thing written, or spend at least 30 minutes watching either the news or some type of television show. If all forms of media were removed from our lives for just 24 hours, we would realize how greatly our lives are impacted by media influences. Even if you attempted to avoid all media influences that you normally come into contact with, it would be nearly impossible. Just think about it, many of us can't even leave our homes without our cellphones. Do you really think you could survive without the media? Could you imagine having your cellphone, but without access to your email, your social networks, photos, internet and music? The only feature of your phone would be for verbal communication. There would be no text messaging because that in it self is a written form of media. We have become so accustomed to this way of life that we rarely think about life without it. The media is geared to attract different types of audiences. For example, all people don't listen to the radio, so you may have to reach out to those individuals via printed material, the internet, or the television. The media has different functions.  All forms of media are capable of informing individuals of what is happening in society.  Media can also be used to entertain society, influence perceptions, and portray ideas and images,  Access to the media actually make our lives are lot easier. In a way, it also disables us. We no longer have to work as hard to obtain information. For example, research has become a lot easier because we have access to online journals, online books, online newpapers, etc. However, depending on the assignment many professors still require that students obtain their research from books not obtained online. We even have the capability of obtaining a degree from the luxury of our homes as long as we have online access to the courses. Nevertheless, always stay informed. You have so many options, so there should be very few excuses.  Grab a book, watch television, listen to the radio, or get online.

*Ironically, even though I express my thoughts in written words, my passion lies within visual images such as television and film. They have such a strong impact on society both positively and negatively. I did extensive research on the film industry, its portrayals, and its impact on society. Even though some things  may never change, I would love to attempt to be a part of the solution.

Thursday, September 1, 2011


Have you ever felt like you were at a standstill in life? You want to accomplish more, but you are finding it difficult to motivate yourself.  Are you letting your dreams and ambitions slip away? What steps are you taking to get closer to your goals in life? Well, you are not alone. It is natural to lose focus at some point in your life. It could be a short term or long term loss of concentration. Maybe you don't have an issue with focusing on things, your issue may lie within the things you choose to focus on. Even though you may be a focused individual, it is very easy to be focused on the wrong thing. It is important that we steer our focus in the right direction. When we locate that direction, it is very important that we maintain our focus. At times, we may become so caught up in a certain routine or agenda that we may lose our ambition. Life becomes dull and repetitive and your focus becomes diminished. Initially, you will set out in life with your mind focused on certain accomplishments. However, as life goes on your focus may change or even disappear completely.Once you realize that your focus has diminished or disappeared you  must refocus. Refocusing may require trying things differently, or making slight adjustments to your preestablished goals. It may involve a change of scenery, or a new outlook on life. Being focused demands some type of ambition. Otherwise, you may find it difficult to remain focused. If you are focused and know what you want, use your ambition to drive that focus.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." Maya Angelou

Maturity is a ongoing process. As you begin to reflect on your past, you are able to realize how much you have matured over the years. Maturity allows you to analyze how you may have handled certain situations differently. It can never come too soon because it can save you from decisions that you might regret later. Maturity is derived from many lessons learned. Stubbornness can prevent one from maturing. Your unwillingness to change or see things from a different point of view keeps you in the same place in life. Maturity is displayed by how you carry yourself, how you respond to certain situations, and how you choose your associations. There are certain people that you can not associate with because they do not act maturely. Additionally, immature individuals handle situations differently from those individuals who have matured. Mature people try not to involve themselves in drama. When in the midst of a chaotic situation they either attempt to calm down the situation or remove themselves from the situation entirely. The worst thing to witness is an adult acting immaturely. If you don't know how to behave, what hope is there for the younger generation that is looking up to you? Maturity is learned it is not taught, it is a development that comes from within. You can be taught to be responsible, but you have to make that individual decision to act in a mature manner. Maturity is developed over time as a result of your experiences and circumstances. Although, you can never change the past, you can strive for a better tomorrow.

Monday, August 29, 2011


At some point in your life you have or will over-think a situation. There is nothing wrong with being sure about something, but excessive thinking can be detrimental to your success. Over-thinking is basically when one prolongs a process because they haven't come to a final decision. It can also be associated with people who seek perfection or with those who worry too much. Over-thinking provides two results; you persuade yourself to do what you had initially planned or you can persuade yourself against it. When over-thinking goes wrong, you may actually end up with nothing at all.  Many times when you over-think something you are not satisfied until you make a definite decision. Other times, thinking to much can be used as an excuse for not making a decision. So many times people say, "I'm not sure yet, or I'm still thinking". This may be out of fear of failure, rejection, or they just may have difficulty making up their mind. Thoughts are meant to be shared, don't try to store everything in your brain. Sometimes, sharing your thoughts with others will give you that additional push needed to put your ideas into motion.  If you find yourself thinking about something too hard, take a break and come back to it. The break may refresh your mind and provide you with the answer that you need. You have those who over-think and follow through, and those who over-think and don't follow through. If you over-think but still follow through, you might just be creating unnecessary stress which could make your task appear harder to accomplish. If you are over-thinking and not following through on anything, then you are just wasting your time. Never let a thought hold you back from where you should be in life. Sometimes, you just have to clear your mind and "follow your heart."

Sunday, August 28, 2011


Life doesn't always turned out the way that we have planned it. Some things that we want to happen for us in life, just aren't meant to be. The great thing about life is that every mistake, regret, and experience prepares us for the life that we were predestined to live. Although everyone's life is predestined, we are given free will to make choices on our own. More importantly, it is not as important as to how many times you get off track, but that you finish the course. A lot of times we say, "If it is meant to be, then it will happen." This statement is true to a certain degree. Sometimes, in order for things to happen you have to take a proactive approach to influence the outcome. So yes, if it is part of the ultimate plan in your life it will happen. If it is not meant to be, then there is nothing that you can do to make it happen. If you try to make something happen that was not meant to be, it will not last. Everything in life has a purpose, and everything happens for a reason.

Saturday, August 27, 2011


Many people think that money is the answer to everything. Life seems to pretty much revolve around obtaining more money. People always say that if they could just obtain some more money everything would be okay. Money actually seems to create more problems. Relationships are destroyed over money issues and many times innocent lives are ended because of monetary debt. Even if you have a lot of money and don't know how to manage it, you would better off without the money at all. It can make life a lot easier sometimes, but it will never replace happiness. Some of the wealthiest individuals are the saddest people in the world. Money doesn't define who you are. You can possess it today and be without it tomorrow. The worst mistake that a person can make is defining their life or worth based on money. Money does not define one's character, it is basically a tool used for one's advantage. We should never judge an individual based on how much money they do or do not possess. If you can be happy without money then you have experienced true happiness. Sometimes, not having money allows you to have a greater appreciation of money once you are blessed with it. However, this is not the case for everyone. Some people become rich and blow their money, not really appreciating it at all. If you can be happy with what you already have, you may have already discovered the solution to your happiness. Everyone has a different definition of happiness, but money will always be a temporary solution to happiness.

Friday, August 26, 2011


Are you use to going about life the same way everyday? Does change frighten you? Nothing truly remains the same in life. We need to be open to change in different areas of our lives. Sometimes, if you don't allow change in your life you will not progress. There are times when you just have to stop and look at things from a different perspective. Change isn't meant for everyone. What works for one individual may not work for another. However, not wanting to change could be a sign of stubbornness and closed-mindedness. Change can be refreshing and it just may be the solution to a problem. Individuals who attempt change may demonstrate characteristics of courage, optimism, spontaneity, openness, and determination. There is no need to dream and wish for things, if you are not willing to change certain habits that may be withholding from your goals. If you desire to look a certain way, drive a particular car, own a house, find a job, or start a family; there are certain steps that you have take to acquire those desires. If your current actions aren't producing any positive results, then it is time for you to make some changes.  For those of you out there looking for different results, guess what? You are going to have to try it a different way!!!!!!

Thursday, August 25, 2011


Often we find ourselves uttering the words, "I understand" to individuals that may be experiencing difficult times. How accurate is that statement? Do you really understand what that person is going through, have you shared the same experiences, or are you imagining what you think it would feel like if you were to go through the same experience? It is truly hard to understand what another individual is going through if you have never personally experienced it yourself.  You may have a general idea, but it is not the same. Yes, you may have a friend or family member who may experienced it, but you did not experience it. Some of the best teachers, counselors, and leaders are people who choose to share their experiences with others. They are better equipped to assist other individuals who are going through difficulties, because they have personally experienced the same things. However, even if you have not experienced certain things in life as others you can still comfort them with kind words and deeds. Just something to think about the next time you get ready to say, "I understand".

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


There are certain situations where we find ourselves wanting to express ourselves verbally. How do you know when it is the appropriate time to speak your mind? In what tone should you express yourself? Sometimes speaking your mind can be viewed as disruptive, others times it may be viewed as courageous. Who determines what is appropriate and what is not? Many times you can discern whether you should speak your mind in certain situations. This may require humility, obedience, or respect depending on the individual that you are addressing. For example, if you are addressing someone such as your parent or an older adult you should want to make sure that you courteous towards them. However, a good rule of thumb is to address everyone with respect. There are different ways in which to speak your mind. You can yell, scream, speak firmly, or remain calm. Believe it or not, people are more receptive when someone is not yelling in their ears. Speaking your mind can be positive, and it can be negative. It just has to be done at the right place, at the right time for it to be effective. When you express yourself verbally be sure to have a purpose. There is nothing worse than a person who just talks to be heard, with no real meaning behind what they are saying. Also, recognize when your words are not being received, you do not want to waste your valuable time and efforts. However, don't give in too easily. Even though it may appear that you are talking to a brick wall, there could always be a change of heart. When necessary you should speak your mind, never let anyone take advantage of you by biting your tongue. Sometimes, not speaking your mind can cause you to be in worse situation than if you had said what was on your mind. Sometimes, standing up for yourself does require expressing what is on your mind. Benefits of speaking your mind include releasing stress, especially if you are bottling up various emotions on the inside. It can also bring about a peace of mind. Even if the situation doesn't turn out the way that you want it, at least the other individual(s) know how you feel and you no longer have to share those feelings alone. Before you open your mouth, think carefully about the consequences of the words coming out of your mouth. Speak your mind with wisdom and respect.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


Many times after people experience a natural disaster such as a hurricane, tornado, or earthquake they tend to express their faith in God. Why does it take natural disasters for us to realize that we need to get closer to God? It is very disappointing to see how people's faith increase during a natural disaster, but several months later they return back to their normal level of faith. Many times during a natural disaster church attendance increases, people pray more, and people engage in activities that they feel will get them closer to God. It is normal to be grateful that you were spared during a natural disaster. It is also okay to view certain natural disasters as signs of the times. Try not to let your faith be impacted by natural disasters. Your faith in God should remain the same. Each day you should put your faith in God, not only when something is going bad in your life. Natural disasters are a part of life created by God. It is not meant for us to understand why they happen. Some may view them as a "wake up call", others just as a part of life. If it is your "wake up call" then act accordingly.  The next time you are faced with a natural disaster you should be prepared because your faith in God should prepare you for anything.

Monday, August 22, 2011


Trust is important in relationships; however, it should not be given away easily. Rather it should be gradually earned. If it is gradually earned it provides you a sense of protection until you decide to fully put your trust into someone. Everyone does not deserve your trust. Trust is very personal and intimate. It involves allowing others into some part of your life. Usually, it takes a while to know someone before you actually put your trust in them. You can't really trust someone that you have just met. Trust in its initial stages could be described as faith. You believe that they are a good person, or that they will follow through on what they said. However, you may not know them personally to actually trust that they will follow through. Once you have established trust with someone and that trust is broken it is nearly impossible to gain that same level of trust again. That memory of broken trust will always remain in the back of your mind. Many times the broken trust ruins the relationship. It takes a lot to put all your trust into someone. It can involve opening up to someone mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Be careful of whom you put your trust. Analyze the situation and follow your instincts, it could save you from unnecessary discomfort.

Sunday, August 21, 2011


Many of us are familar with the saying, "Failure Is Not An Option". This basically means that you refuse to fail at whatever you are trying to accomplish. However, we are faced with failure whether we like it or not. It is not realistic to believe that you will never fail at anything in life. Failure is not necessarily a negative thing because it allows us to learn from whatever mistake was made. Obstacles and difficulties throughout your life prepare you for success at some point in the future. You may fail several times before you actually become successful at something. Sometimes you don't have contol over failure and other times you are directly responsible for your failure. You are only responsible for things that you can control. Try not to beat yourself up too hard if you happen to fail at something. As long as you get back up and try again you are not totally defeated. Always remember that you only remain a failure if you don't try at all. Every time you try you get closer to your goal.

Saturday, August 20, 2011


Transitioning from a teen to a young adult can be a challenging experience. Whether you decide to venture off to college, start a family, join the military, or start your career your life as a juvenile is over. You truly feel the impact of being an adult when you step out on your own. You become responsible for paying your own bills, cooking your own food, and cleaning your own house. You no longer have your parents to rely on for these things. College can also provide a sense of independence depending on whether you decide to live at home, stay on campus, or obtain a place of your own. College is one of the greatest experiences of young adulthood if you decide to choose that route. It is doing these years that you meet lifelong friends and begin to find a sense of who you really are as an individual. If you are away from home during college, you don't have your parents telling you what to do and you have to make some decisions on your own. Adulthood provides a better appreciation of life because you are responsible for providing a good life for yourself. The key to a successful adulthood is the degree of motivation that you possess. If you continue to live in child's mindset it may take longer for you to reach certain goals that are expected of you and that you may have set for yourself. Young adults who have to work hard for what they get tend to value things more than young adults who are given everything. Therefore, you can never compare the progress of one young adult to another because we all have different backgrounds and responsibilities. Networking is one of the keys to success no matter what age you are. It plays a major role in adulthood. Knowing certain individuals can get you to many places. It is very important to network and establish business relationships because you never know when you might need them. As you step into adulthood, make smart decisions, strive to reach your goals, and enjoy life. Be sure to remember where you came from because where you are headed will be a whole different experience.

Friday, August 19, 2011


This is for all the women out there. Have you ever struggled with the idea of choosing your career over establishing a family? Is it really possible to give 100% and be successful at both. What comes first, establishing a career, or establishing a family. Is it even possible to establish both at the same time? It seems that in today's society many career-oriented women tend to be single or tend to wait until they are older before they decide to marry or establish a family. Family would include children, it would not just be the husband and wife. It is the addition of children that changes the whole perspective. Let's say you and your husband decide to have kids, do you stay home with the kids or do you return back to your career?  What if you pick your career over a husband and kids? Will you have regrets later on down the line. Maybe you decide you want to have kids now, how much will this affect your career? There is definitely a difference between a single career woman and career woman with a family. If she attempts to give 100% to her career, is there a chance that she may neglect her children in some areas? If she gives 100% to her family, then she probably won't have much of a career at all. These are difficult choices to make, and the decisions that you make impact your life forever. Just thoughts of single young woman.

Thursday, August 18, 2011


There are many people that are in our lives today that may not be in our lives tomorrow. While those individuals only remain in our lives for a season, true friends remain forever. A true friend will always be there regardless of whether they are near or far. Even if time transpires between visits or conversations, true friends can pick up right where they left off. Relationships with true friends are never perfect, but after all that you experience together or apart you continue to remain friends. Friends that really mean something to you become like your second family. There is almost nothing that you wouldn't do for them because they mean so much. Sad but true most people don't have the luxury of possessing many true friends. There are usually a few individuals that you can describe as a true friend. You can identify a true friend by their deeds, actions, and words. There are special bonds that true friends share. Even distance and time cannnot break the bond that you may share. True friends keep in touch. They remember your birthday, they inquire about your family, and when possible they spend time with you. Another way in which to recognize a true friend is to observe who remains in your presence when you are going through difficult times. It is easy for anyone to associate with you when you are doing good, but you know that they really care if that same person is right there when you are going through difficult times. They will take time out of their schedule to assist you with whatever they are capable of. True friends probably get on your nerves the most because you really care about them. It is very easy to hurt the ones that you care about the most. If you didn't care about one another then you probably wouldn't be as likely to get upset. True friends know the good and bad about you and accept you as you are. Relationships between true friends are lifetime experiences that can never be destroyed.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


Most people seek to obtain some type of approval from others. Many times this approval is given by parents, family, friends, and co-workers. It feels good to get approval from those around you. However, your life should not be entirely based on the approval of others.  It is more important that you live a life that you are personally pleased with. This may mean disregarding the advice that others give you concerning your life. It really is a waste of time to try to please everybody. If all the energy and time that you have is put into looking good for others and buying what you think others would want you to have, you will end up very unhappy. At the end of the day, the kind of car that you drive, the kind of clothes that you wear, the kind of job that you have, is useless if obtained only for the approval of other people. With anything that you do in life, always make sure that you are going after what you want. People will expect a lot from you but many times they will be the last one to help you fulfill those expectations. It is better to learn sooner than later that you can't please everybody, even those who you want to please the most.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Your outward appearance tends to affect how you feel about yourself on the inside. For most people, when you look good on the outside you tend to feel good on the inside. Exercising and eating healthy are necessary steps to maintaining good health and a good appearance. There is no need to long for a good looking body if you are not willing to do the work. Having a beautiful physique requires discipline, determination, and motivation. It does require running, walking, going to gym, swimming, hiking, biking, or some physical activity. Everyone is not meant to be slim and trim, but there are benefits to being in shape and eating right. Exercise helps to relieve stress and also helps fight against disease. It is the combination of exericise and diet that does the trick. While exercise is good for the body, it defeats the purpose of exercising if you continue to feed your body with junk. Likewise, eating healthy and no exercise has its disadvantages as well. Although you may be eating healthy you may still be overweight because you are not burning off that excess fat. You may say," I have no excess fat." However, some of the slimmest people are in worse shape than those individuals that appear to overweight because they do not exercise and do not eat healthy. So to those out there with the "skinny genes" you need to hit the gym like everyone else. Any type of cardio exercise is beneficial to your heart. The easiest way to stay in shape and to be healthy is to make exericise and a healthy diet a part of your life forever. The key to staying on track is doing a variety of exercises and eating a variety of foods. Life doesn't have to be boring to look good as some may think. You can indulge every now and then just make sure you are not indulging more than you are working out. A good way to discipline yourself is to leave the junk in the store, if it is not visible it will be hard to eat. More than likely you won't feel like going out to get what you desire and you will have won the battle. However, there are times when you will crave certain things and you shouldn't hold yourself back from treating yourself every now and then. If you keep yourself from the things that you like all the time, there is a possibility that you will give up entirely because eating right just seems to hard. Most importantly, do what you feel is comfortable for you, everyone is not the same. Exercise and eat accordingly!!!!!

Monday, August 15, 2011


Everyone can personally relate to this topic, whether you are the one forgiving or the one being forgiven. Forgiving may be one of the hardest things that we must do throughout our lives. It is very easy to hold grudges against people, but it is very unhealthy. When you forgive you allow broken relationships to be mended. It is unforgiveness that destroys so many relationships, causing the relationship to be ruined forever. However, forgiving does not mean that you forget what has been done towards you, it just means that you haven't allowed that situation to make you bitter towards the person that did you wrong. Forgiveness is a gradual process, you need time to completely forgive someone who has done you wrong. There is a saying, "I forgive you, but I won't forget." This is true to a certain extent, but a lot of times when you truly forgive someone for what they may have did to you in the past, as time transpires you tend to forget what they have done. The degree of forgetfulness does vary from situation to situation. Some things are easier to forgive than others. When you don't allow yourself to forgive others, you carry around that negative weight, which you may not even know existed until you come in contact with that person that you haven't forgiven. However, just because you forgive someone, that does not mean that you should allow them to take advantage of you. Some things in life are easier to just let go. It is better to be at peace about certain situations than walking around mad about what someone did to you. While you are mad, they are going on about their life not affected at all. You should always forgive others, because if the tables were turned you would want to be forgiven.  Sometimes, you don't even have to say a word at all for someone to know that you have forgiven them. Forgiveness takes place in the heart and can be seen by your actions. So examine your heart and make sure that you have plenty of forgiveness in there. The world isn't perfect and forgiveness is a requirement of a healthy life.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

PARENTING-from the child's perspective

There are two very different sides to rearing a child. There is the point of view of the child as they are being raised by their parents, and then there is the point of view of the parents in raising their child. The way that you raise your child greatly impacts their future. If you are not in your child's life, they will find someone or something to fill that void. One of the greatest lessons learned as a child is that family is everything. One good thing to know is that materialism will never replace the time that could be spent with your child. A good parent isn't perfect and will make mistakes along the way. They lead by example and expect the best from their child. One of the most amazing things about parenting is the sacrifice that many parents endure for their child. Good parents always leave that door open, so that should their child stray away they always have a place of return. The greatest relationship between a parent and child is when they both grow and learn together. You can be too easy on your child and you can't be too tough either. If you are too easy, they may not respect you and may view as their counterpart. If you are too tough, they may resist and try to get as far away as possible. However, you live and you learn and the way that you deal with one child may be different in the approach that you may take with another. The greatest rule to follow would be "Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." In other words, do the best that you can possibly do in raising your child. It may not seem like they hear you now, but it will pay off in the long run. A lot of times the change in the relationship seems to come about in those teenage years. It is during that time when the child feels as if they are being held back from so many things that they wish to explore. They feel that the person holding them back from these things are their parents. Then once adulthood is reached, after much maturation they realize that their parents were not holding them back from much at all. It is an unending cycle where parents continually try to keep their child from making the same mistakes they made in life. However, there are some experiences that everyone must go through as a part of life. I am grateful to have had my wonderful father and mother in my life as I live and learn. Most importantly, some of my best experiences have been shared with them.

Saturday, August 13, 2011


This one was inspired by my little sister Rosalee Longshore. You only get one life, so make the best out of it. Don't be so serious all the time, life is way too short. Today's society is so serious, people barely crack a smile when they pass you on the street, saying "Good Morning" seems like asking for way too much. We have become so busy with our lives that sometimes we forget to just be happy. Smile and laugh as much as possible. Your smile could brighten somebody's day, and that joke that you have to share could take some of their sadness away. However, recognize those situations when you should be serious and when you should be playful. Take time to enjoy those little things. Don't allow emotions and sensitivity to keep you from cracking a smile. Loosen up a bit, and laugh until tears are streaming down your face. Make sure to always take time for yourself. If there is something that you would love to experience don't hold back, get out there and do it. Travel as much as possible, there is so much of the world to see. Don't get stuck in your day to day routine that you neglect having fun. Everything doesn't have to be planned, be spontaneous sometimes. The world is so much better with happy people. A good smile lightens the mood, encourages that individual that may have a been a little doubtful, eases pain, and most of all it looks good on you. Smiling and laughing provide such a positive feeling and the greatest thing about it is that it is free!!!!! Don't grow old in age bitter about what you didn't experience, "Do It Now." Please view the following link for the author of "Do It Now," my father Pastor Leevone Brock. https://docs.google.com/document/d/18D5cSplAKLYi5BRhzzBnG6-s6JddJIwiDpZzPOyxTOA/edit?hl=en_US

Friday, August 12, 2011


Live for today because tomorrow is not promised. Cherish every moment. Don't take for granted those that are in your life and the blessings that you receive daily. Even when you are going through trials and tribulations remember that someone else is going through a worse situation. Learn from your mistakes. Don't let bad habits become a way of life. Cherish friendships, good friends are hard to find and to keep. Drama doesn't look good on you. Take care of your mind, soul, and body. You only get one of each and once it's gone there is nothing that you can do about it. The world will go on with or without you, it's your responsibility to make a difference in it. No you don't know it all, and then of course you are not always right. Take time to listen and stop talking so much, you might actually learn something. Hope everyone has a blessed and safe weekend.